Here's an interesting shot from one of the computer models 66 hours out, which is somewhere around Sunday morning. I feel for the folks at Disney World this weekend - they probably won't need Kali River Rapids to get wet as this would dump a good bit of rain.

Could this be tropical storm Barry Manilow? Only time will tell...

Posted by Carl at 10:31 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

The accident at Disney's Animal Kingdom Kalii River Rapids Ride was the result of an apparent platform malfunction. As a result of the malfunction, six people were injured and taken to hospitals (five to Celebration Hospital, one to Sand Lake Hospital.) The ride was immediately closed and will remain so until Disney fully investigates what happened.

Local6.com has a few more details on the ride malfunction here.

Update 2:
The exit platform triggered due to a faulty sensor. Disney removed the platform and has re-opened the ride.

One guest suffered a broken arm, and the injured included a family of four, a teenager and a cast member (Disney employee). A dense lawyer stampede warning is in effect.

Posted by Carl at 8:17 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Heroes' Hiro Nakamura, played by Masi Oka. Photo ©NBC

I haven't blogged about Heroes all season. At least, I don't think I have. Let me check. Okay, I I did once. It was a brief post about time-travel that really didn't solve any of my own personal dilemmas with time-travel. For example, if there will ever be time travel, way far down the road in the future, someone surely would have come back to this time just to talk with me about all of those coffee cans I'm sealing up and burying everywhere. But so far: nothing. Of course, if time-travel gets developed in the future, they probably will also develop some sort of toothpaste that makes you forget everything (and fight tartar) when you brush your teeth, and maybe they visited me and slipped that into my medicine cabinet, which would explain why I can't find my car keys.

Anyway, Heroes is a television show that debuted this season on NBC. The main story revolves around a number of "heroes" that have extraordinary gifts. We'll just call them "super powers" because I know that's what all of you are thinking. So far we've seen an amazing array of super powers: telepathy, the ability to create fire, super healing, flight, walking through walls, and the ability to never completely get written out of the script no matter how final your last scene seems to be. Two of the most annoying powers are precognition (the ability to see the future) and time-travel (the ability to completely muck-up the past, making the guy who saw the future look like a complete idiot for getting it wrong.)

At first I thought to myself: "Self, don't get interested in this show, even if they DO create a guy with heat vision, because all sci-fi shows last two seasons max." So I avoided it like the plague, or like someone who carried the plague, or even like someone who could create super plagues just by thinking about it and leave them on door knobs, toilet seats and the handles of office coffee pots. But co-workers (or, if you prefer, coworkers) at AccuWeather kept hammering me with all sorts of tidbits (Hey! They're going to have a guy with heat vision on tonight!) until I broke down and watched an episode.

Actually, I ended up watching something like 8 episodes right in a row. I won't do the math there on how much time that was in front of the computer, but I went to bed at a ridiculous hour. I was hooked.

The series is remarkable not because of the super powers, although I'm still holding out for someone who can turn themselves into lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals... but it's remarkable because of the writing and acting. What would the world be like if people suddenly started acquiring super powers? This show gives you a good guess, and it's very entertaining.

The season recently concluded so now is a good time to try it out. The most interesting character (IMO) has to be Hiro Nakamura, a former office cubical dweller who has the power to "bend space and time." He's the time traveler who catches a glimpse of a desolate future and takes it upon himself to set things right. His transformation from meek office worker to hero took the length of season one but was a great trip. At the end of the season, Hiro ends up traveling back in time to feudal Japan.

At least, that's one theory. I think he ended up at the World Showcase in Epcot during some sort of show. But now we all have to wait several months to find out.

Jump on board!

*The Blog Hero wishes everyone to know that the title of this post was the result of hours - nay, weeks! - of brainstorming and he's quite proud of it. He's working on his next Heroes blog title but so far isn't coming up with much other than "She sells sea shells down by the seashore right before unleashing her deadly heat vision" which really isn't very good. Suggestions welcome.

Posted by Carl at 10:08 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Sigh.

I came across this via a search for Global Warming news. I have my RSS reader set up to peruse various search engines, blogs, feeds, etc., for certain keywords and an article popped up from Business Week about the L that had this bit:

I had to laugh out-loud at that. Or, LOL. Although I won't say that because it would be weird and geeky.

Here's a photo of the Superleggera:

By now you probably want to know how much it will cost, because you're all set to contribute to the Blog Hero Needs A Cool Vehicle To Fight Crime Fund. You'll find that tidbit on page 2:

Base price: $240,000 (est.)

Ah well. I guess I'll keep fighting crime with my Saturn.

Posted by Carl at 9:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Five guests and a cast member were hurt today at Animal Kingdom on the "Kali River Rapids" ride. Apparently the accident occurred at the point where guests transfer from the ride to a walkway. AP article here. A Disney Guest Accident Watch is in effect while I contemplate taking the family to Disney and how to pay for that. My current experiments of transmuting lead into gold are not working out, but it's still early.

Posted by Carl at 3:30 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Ask vs. Dogpile vs. Google, Memorial Day 2007

Posted by Carl at 8:22 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I added Google Adsense at the bottom of each page. That sound you hear is the cash register ringing continuously. Not only will I be able to afford a visit to Disney World soon, but I'll probably just buy Disney World, and Universal Orlando, with all of the cash I'll be earning. In fact...wait, I think the servers at Google just crashed from the load. Sorry about that.

In all seriousness, this is just an experiment. I'm not terribly enthused to see ads with Rosie O'Donnell's name in them, although I don't know her personally and am sure she's merely misunderstood. But I really can't experiment with the service without putting it on the site, because it's supposed to read the content and deliver appropriate ads. Which will be hard for this blog, since there aren't too many aliens or members of the Japanese Mafia: Weather Control Division advertising via Google (I suspect...)

In the meantime, if you see anything weird, feel free to email me or leave a comment. Thanks!

Posted by Carl at 11:17 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I've never understood the Summer Driving Season thing. You know; the season where gas prices go up because people are driving everywhere. Does anyone understand this? I know what they tell me on TV:

"It's summer. It's time for everyone to drive."

What I don't understand is that middle part. The part where everyone is driving more because it's summer. I think our family actually drives less in the summer. Just because it's summer doesn't mean that my commute to work suddenly grows longer. And with the kids not involved in their schooling there are less places to take them. The only driving increase I could see is if we decided to go on vacation, via a car, to a faraway place. Of course, we're not doing that. But - I guess I'm to understand from TV that everyone else IS doing that. Is that right? Are all of you going to increase your driving this summer? If you go on vacation, are you planning on driving far, far away - so far, that you will easily overtake any driving savings you would normally encounter because of things "slowing down" over the summer? Or do things not slow down in the summer for you?

On second thought, perhaps your daily commute DOES increase because the hot, stagnant, summer air is more difficult to drive through than normal, non-summer, thin, light and fluffy air.

Posted by Carl at 2:55 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I mentioned in the earlier Hurricane 2007 post that there are a number of researchers looking at the impending Atlantic Hurricane Season and making public their official guesses carefully considered and researched forecasts. University of Central Florida researcher Mark Johnson and his Georgia colleague Chuck Watson have put together some interesting research based on:

1. Analysis of statistical models of storm paths from the past 155 years
2. Analysis of models using the climate conditions for January through May '07 (that further compute the climate conditions for the rest of the year)
3. A 10-year body of work on probability analyses for hurricanes

The UCF has a press release here about it.

Here's one of the many graphics that they've published:

This study suggests that the Gulf Coast is under the gun, which is similar to AccuWeather.com's conclusion. You'll note, looking at the map above, that Disney World is in the "Much Above Normal" area. They may have gotten wind (sorry) of my possible trip to the Magic Kingdom.

The website of Mark Johnson and Chuck Watson, Watson Technical Consulting, can be found here.

Posted by Carl at 4:23 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Jesse has an interesting post here about the NHC/NOAA/CPC/JM hurricane predictions, and contends that they're basically predicting 10-20 storms this season. Give or take.

And SciGuy Eric Berger, who may or may not have gotten beaten up as a kid for his milk money, has a post here discussing the pre-season predictions. He lets Joe Bastardi have it, stating that Joe's prediction of named storms is "doom and death" and "Bastardi doesn't predict specific numbers." He adds, "His chief currency is fear."

This is interesting because it's almost completely wrong. First, Joe Bastardi (and AccuWeather.com team) have predicted actual numbers - you can read the press release here. The forecast is for 13-14 storms, 3+ being "major" (major meaning that Anderson Cooper will likely be drawn to the coast.)

Given the "Bastardi Number" is actually less than Gray's number, or the upper limit of the NOAA/NHC forecast, why is Bastardi tagged as the "doom and death" guy?

I'll give Mr. Berger the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to a lack of research. Apparently he took a look at the pre-season discussion, not the forecast which was issued later, and drew conclusions from that.

Finally, there's a telling comment in the comments section of the SciGuy's post. It goes like this:

My experience tells me this is exactly the opposite of how it works in the private sector. The AccuWeather team has a number of private clients (and a growing website) that receive our detailed hurricane forecasts. If you accept the "doom and death" fear-mongering position, AccuWeather wouldn't have these clients - the free market would punish any company providing content that was continuously wrong, bad and created for the purpose of inciting fear. Just the opposite is occurring - AccuWeather is growing because the hurricane information is very valuable to the clients AccuWeather serves. I've observed Joe at AccuWeather and he's passionate, works long, insane hours, and put everything into his forecasting - keeping what works and learning from any mistakes. And his clients understand that.

Disclaimer: The Blog Hero, who may or may not work at AccuWeather, would like to say that he has never met the SciGuy, Dr. Gray, Dr. Gray's team, most of NOAA and the NHC. Furthermore, the Blog Hero has never been to Houston, which I'm sure is a delightful city, and has never picked up a copy of the Houston Chronicle to read over a double half-caf decaffinated ginger latte expresso (with cream.) No body builders were harmed in the writing of this post. Thank you.

Posted by Carl at 12:15 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

The NHC is out with their predictions, and so I'm updating this previous entry. Here we go:

To review, the names for storms this season in the Atlantic are:
01 Andrea
02 Barry
03 Chantal
04 Dean
05 Erin
06 Felix
07 Gabrielle
08 Humberto
09 Ingrid
10 Jerry
11 Karen
12 Lorenzo
13 Melissa
14 Noel
15 Olga
16 Pablo
17 Rebekah
18 Sebastien
19 Tanya
20 Van
21 Wendy

Carl's Predictions

And finally, here's a poll I'd like everyone to consider taking. Not only will it tally up the yes/no/maybes, but it will plot them on a map. So at the end of the season we can see if they yes people were right, or the no people were right, or some of the yes people were right but all of the no people were wrong, or the Florida people should have packed up and moved to Idaho. You know who you are.

*Andrea notwithstanding since she was a sub tropical storm.

Posted by Carl at 2:29 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

AccuWeather.com has published their hurricane thoughts, including those of Chief Hurricane Guru Joe Bastardi. You can find the hurricane preview here. This graphic sums it up:

This is also the "Carl Wants to go to Disney World This Year" graphic. We've been talking about going this November, and I'll probably have to write a long explanation of why we would go then, but right now our funding is falling a little short. If the funding can somehow come through, then yes, look for 20 named storms this year and for Florida to get pummeled relentlessly, particularly in the late Nov. to early Dec. timeframe.

Posted by Carl at 10:19 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

The car is feeling much better today. It had its innards sucked out and new gas put in. For this, I only paid something like $269. In all fairness, this also included new spark plugs. I didn't know cars used 12 spark plugs but you learn something every day.

The car was towed not to the offending gas station, but to the Honda dealership in State College that we normally go to. The trip, which you can find here: The Trip Link, was about 44 miles and 52 minutes, according to Yahoo! Maps.

Alert Gasoline Dispenser Tammy is thinking about writing Sheetz, the gas station in question. She feels the, well, user interface of the gas pump was sorely lacking. When she told me she was going to write the letter I was initially very supportive:

"You're going to do what?"

But then I thought about it and became even more supportive. I suggested a few minor embellishments, just to make the narrative more compelling:

"Make sure you tell them the car exploded and you all nearly died in the fire. And, that we had just taken out our life savings and had the cash in a suitcase in the back."

I know from experience that corporations love to get those sorts of letters, as their lawyers are always looking for opportunities to give away large sums of cash to keep the customer base happy.

I'll let you know if a letter is actually sent, and what the response is. I checked the Sheetz website, and found this great photo of a genuine Sheetz Gasoline Dispenser, but unfortunately this is the old, gasoline-only pump which does not feature "Diesel."

Posted by Carl at 10:47 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Have you ever noticed that no matter how much two people love each other, all of that love can unravel in about 7 minutes if the two people have to move a large piece of furniture outside?

"Stop pushing!"
"It's scraping the walls!"
"Ow! That's my foot!"
"What do you THINK YOU ARE DOING?!"

Of course, this would never happen at the Schaad House, I'm just - you know - relating what other people have shared with me. This is particularly relevant because tonight is Bulk Trash Pickup Eve. It's that magical time of year when couches, chairs, giant marble sculptures, old desks, very small rocks, churches, lead, and so on, come out of people's homes - usually under the cover of darkness - and sit at the curb all attentive-like, waiting for the Bulk Trash Persons to come and Pick Them Up. As such, I was informed that a couch of ours (I'll call him "Phil") had to go.

Phil had been with us for many years. Actually, the term "decade" might be involved, but I'm not going to get into Phil's age. That's just plain rude. Phil started out as any new couch starts out: All shiny, perfectly groomed, smelling slightly of anti-stain chemicals that make you feel happy if you sniff for too long. Phil was, when purchased, very stylish. This lasted for about eight weeks, at which point Phil was no longer stylish.

You see, Phil let himself go. Various beverages eventually wore down his anti-staining defenses. Phil's trampoline-like qualities diminished over time. He seemed to gain a great deal of weight when we moved into the new house, such that the living room in which he was placed filled up with his mere presence. He began to groan loudly when sat upon - which really puts off visitors. And then one day the final straw.

Phil was particularly tired during a marathon Law & Order viewing. Twelve straight hours proved too much, and one of his cushions split. Not quite split like the Grand Canyon, but nonetheless a split that spelled his doom. Alert Furniture Inspector Tammy looked him over one day with a "Hmmm." and a shake of her head and I knew it was time. For, you see, Bulk Trash Pickup was only a few weeks away. She looked at me and gave me the thumbs down signal and left the room.

It was just me and Phil. I sat down on his good cushion. "Sorry, Phil." I started. "It's just...you know, you've lost your spring. You've gotten too big. You're cushions are going. And, really, you don't smell very good anymore." Phil just sat there in silence. I could tell he was beside himself. I tried to cheer him up.

"Phil, someone may adopt you. It's Bulk Trash Pickup Day! You know that people roam the neighborhood in their trucks, looking for bargains. Hey, I'll even put a sign on you. 'FREE!' You'll be adopted by morning."

So Tammy and I took Phil out tonight. There was a lot of back and forth as we tried to maneuver him through the door and out into the garage:

"Dear, your immense muscles are causing you to move too quickly - I can't keep up."
"Oh, Snookus, be careful! I think we may have just accidentally put a deep gash in the wall."
"Sweetie - my toes. My toes are being crushed Dear."
"Muffin...muffin, what are you doing muffin? That was my head muffin."

But eventually Phil made it to the curb. I thought, as I dropped him in place, that I heard a muffled sob. I can't be sure. Tammy and I sat down one last time, right there on Phil and next to the mailbox. Already we saw people in trucks driving around the neighborhood, flatbeds in tow full of old furniture. I gave Phil a pat.

"Adopted by morning Phil. Just you wait."

Inside I bet Tammy $50 that the couch would still be there at 8am. She took the bet, sure that Phil will find a new home.

Woo hoo! FIFTY BUCKS!

Posted by Carl at 9:33 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Well, okay I made that up. I know I shouldn't blame things on groups that aren't really to blame, but the communist hacker lobby is very small, and not terribly powerful, and really if there is a communist hackers lobby they probably wouldn't think twice about hacking the blog poll just to create all sorts of chaos.

Some of you have written in to say that the poll is not acting properly. For one, it keeps putting its elbows on the table. And it won't use its napkin - it sort of wipes its blog poll hands on its pants when no one is looking. I've tried to duplicate these problems - even going so far as to buy it a bucket of KFC (original recipe) but no luck. If you can figure out what the poll is doing, and more importantly why it is doing it, I would be grateful. Right now I have 9 votes and 5 dots on the map. That seems a little strange, but I assume people are telling their friends in the same cities and those people are voting. Of course, I voted, but there's no dot on State College, which means that I must live in Houston. This would explain the total and complete lack of snow this year, but doesn't explain why Henry would go to the trouble of buying a snow blower.

Blog Disclaimer: The Blog Hero Legal Team, that being Sven, has asked me to post the following disclaimer that is completely legally binding as soon as you started reading "Blog Disclaimer" which occurred about 20 seconds ago. Blog Hero, Blog Hero Incorporated, The Blog Hero Board of Directors, and Sven, are not responsible for the casting of aspersions on any communist hackers who may or may not have hit my blog poll today. All communist hackers should be advised that this post is merely bad satire and should look elsewhere for more interesting and important blogs to hack. Thank you.

Posted by Carl at 9:00 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I thought I would run down the hurricane season predictions, since there seem to be a few out there. This will help with your pre-hurricane season stress and panicking. Having this knowledge in advance of any actual hurricanes arriving* will help with all sorts of planning, like how much bottled water to store in your basement, whether or not to get the orange Duck® tape or the silver Duck® tape, whether to brick up those pesky windows once and for all, and maybe even how much anti-anxiety medication you should budget for.

*NOAA's numbers are coming out next week, at which point I will likely update this chart.

To review, the names for storms this season in the Atlantic are:
01 Andrea
02 Barry
03 Chantal
04 Dean
05 Erin
06 Felix
07 Gabrielle
08 Humberto
09 Ingrid
10 Jerry
11 Karen
12 Lorenzo
13 Melissa
14 Noel
15 Olga
16 Pablo
17 Rebekah
18 Sebastien
19 Tanya
20 Van
21 Wendy

I thought I would take my stab at this hurricane prediction thing. If I'm wildly off target no one will remember except both of you reading this. But if my guess is accurate I'll be Official Seer for a Day.

Carl's Predictions

And finally, here's a poll I'd like everyone to consider taking. Not only will it tally up the yes/no/maybes, but it will plot them on a map. So at the end of the season we can see if they yes people were right, or the no people were right, or some of the yes people were right but all of the no people were wrong, or the Florida people should have packed up and moved to Idaho. You know who you are.

*Andrea notwithstanding since she was a sub tropical storm.

Posted by Carl at 12:51 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I received this error message while using Yahoo's mail service. I'm not even sure what to do about it at this point. I mean, I know there's something wrong...but what?

Here's another one I encountered today:

Posted by Carl at 11:02 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Now, I know some of you will be tempted to do this - if only due to the high cost of gasoline - but whatever you do, do NOT put diesel in your car!

This tip comes from Alert Reader Tammy, who may or may not be my wife and may or may not be at the dealer having the innards* of our car sucked dry. Apparently on the way back from a home schooling convention this weekend Tammy noticed that the car was starting to run low on gas. She pulled into a gas station that she has frequented in the past but something was different. The gas station combined the diesel and the gasoline pumps into one pump with two handles - one for diesel (green in color) and one for gasoline (red in color.) Here the story gets fuzzy, but apparently the green nozzle was put in the car but the buttons for the red nozzle's gasoline were pressed. Some sort of liquid came out of the pump and went into the car. Alert Diesel Selector Tammy then drove away and about two miles later the car started belching loudly. I mean belching like too much Chinese Stir-Fry on Chinese Stir-Fry Wednesday. So she pulled over, checked her receipt (she had one of those feelings) and it said. . . DIESEL! Not only that, but scary music played and the camera shook wildly.

Fortunately, the last time I considered renewing our AAA coverage I thought, "What if Tammy fills the car with Diesel and she's a hundred miles from home?" So I bought the free 100 mile towing-if-you-fill-your-car-with-diesel plan. Also fortunately, if you believe in that sort of thing, was that some friends who had gone to the same home schooling show were just 10 minutes behind Tammy. They were able to bring the kids home while Tammy waited for the tow truck.

So, how much does it cost to have the innards* sucked dry of diesel? We're not sure yet, but should know by the end of the day.

*Yes, this post was just a clever way for me to get to write "innards" twice. Thank you.

Posted by Carl at 9:15 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Andrea is born, and the 2007 season is off and running.

Jesse has the model spray.

Posted by Carl at 11:08 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Here's an interesting graphic on the smoke situation in Florida from the Tampa Tribune:

You can find the article Smoke From Wildfires To Ease Up here.

Posted by Carl at 9:52 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

From the NHC:

000
WONT41 KNHC 091303
DSAAT
SPECIAL TROPICAL DISTURBANCE STATEMENT
NWS TPC/NATIONAL HURRICANE CENTER MIAMI FL
905 AM EDT WED MAY 9 2007

SATELLITE IMAGERY AND PRELIMINARY REPORTS FROM AN AIR FORCE RESERVE
RECONNAISSANCE AIRCRAFT THIS MORNING INDICATE THAT THE AREA OF LOW
PRESSURE CENTERED ABOUT 150 MILES EAST OF JACKSONVILLE IS ACQUIRING
THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A SUBTROPICAL CYCLONE. THE SYSTEM CONTINUES
MOVING GENERALLY WESTWARD AT ABOUT 5 MPH. IF PRESENT TRENDS
CONTINUE... ADVISORIES ON SUBTROPICAL STORM ANDREA WOULD BE
INITIATED LATER THIS MORNING.

DANGEROUS SURF CONDITIONS CONTINUE ALONG THE COASTS OF THE
CAROLINAS... GEORGIA... AND NORTHEASTERN FLORIDA. INTERESTS IN
THESE AREAS SHOULD CONTINUE TO MONITOR PRODUCTS ISSUED BY LOCAL
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE FORECAST OFFICES. ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
ON THIS SYSTEM CAN ALSO BE FOUND IN HIGH SEAS FORECASTS ISSUED BY
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE... UNDER AWIPS HEADER NFDHSFAT1 AND
WMO HEADER FZNT01 KWBC.

$$
FORECASTER FRANKLIN/KNABB

A subtropical storm is a storm that isn't clever enough nor well-liked/popular enough to be a tropical storm. Tropical storm cliques usually abuse subtropical storms when the come around, either verbally or by taping signs to their backs such as "Kick me" or "My feeder bands are small and weak" or "Poke me in the eye."

Posted by Carl at 9:41 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Update: Subtropical storm to form?

Update 2: From AccuWeather.com: Tropical Storm in Disguise?

Posted by Carl at 10:59 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Sorry, I just have to ask. First 20 voters get a, um, get an "attaboy!" (Or, should you prefer, an "attagirl!")*

Her fans think she should be freed. (Has anyone see the Free Paris t-shirts? Surely someone is all over that.) Said one fan: "She provides hope for young people all over the U.S. and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives." I can't even comment on this as I'm in the midst of an aneurysm now.

*Attaboys and Attagirls non-refundable, non-transferable and have a cash value of approximately $0.00.

Posted by Carl at 11:47 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

How does someone get elected President in France who not only didn't say Americans are "empty headed animal food trough wipers" but actually said something nice about the country? I'm baffled.

Posted by Carl at 4:54 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

King Tut, which is short of King Tutankhamun and what all of the King's good friends called him, was an Egyptian Pharaoh from 1333 BC – 1324 BC. He become Pharaoh at the ripe old age of nine and reigned until his death ten years later at 19. His good friends, who already called him Tut because it was shorter and easier to pronounce than "Tutankhamun," also called him the Boy King because, well, he was sort of a king and he was more or less a boy when he started.

The Schaads recently went to visit the Boy King in Philadelphia. Philadelphia is located to the east of the Schaad household, somewhere near the mouth of the Nile, and has a severe traffic problem. This is the result of all of the animal crossings that have been erected by PETA for the crocodiles, hippos, ostriches, beetles (largely of the dung and scarab varieties) and street-side hot dog vendors that regularly cross the streets to make their way to water holes, or to buy a hot dog. On the way out of the city we were caught in the throes of a large "automobile" migration which was headed, ironically enough, to the zoo to take part in Earth Day festivities. (Earth Day being a relatively recent addition to ancient Egypt - a day wherein you celebrate the gift of the Earth by piling into these "automobiles" with the goal of loosening as much carbon dioxide into the air as possible by sitting, parked, in a tremendously long and slow moving line of automobiles headed to celebrate Earth Day at the local zoo.)

Our trip to see the Boy King was filled with excitement beforehand. Here we were, Schaads, very not worldly, headed to see Egyptian artifacts that were thousands of years old. I should say that I just looked up an antonym of "worldly" and the best I could find was "homey," which I suppose describes us well enough.

The King Tut exhibition, found at kingtut.org, promises the return of the "treasures of Tutankhamun." Furthermore, you read that "Tutankhamun's treasures are back" and "The exhibition includes approximately 130 objects from the tomb of King Tut and other valley of the King Ancestors."

It was this last part that should have been a clue, because there you see that they begin to throw in "other valley of the King Ancestors." These would be King Lenny, King Rupert, and rarely discussed but terrible to behold King Merle. (I can't seem to find any of these in Wikipedia, or I would link right to them sorry about that.) If I had been doing my due-diligence, I would have poked around more on their website and found the FAQ that said, "The death mask is not allowed to leave Egypt and therefore is not included in the exhibition." I suppose that's not critical, to see a death mask, because there are lots of other cool things to see.

Our trip down was uneventful and the time passed quickly. Mostly we sang songs in the car like, "Ooooh I can't wait to see the Death Mask!" and "Beautiful, beautiful Death Mask!" and "A thousand gold Egyptian Death Masks on the wall, a thousand gold Egyptian Death Masks on the wall, take one down, pass it around, nine-hundred and ninety-nine gold Egyptian Death Masks on the wall..." Our hotel was very easy to find; it was near the airport and there was basically one major road to and from that. It also helps to stay near the airport because there are generally signs everywhere that show people how to get to the airport, since most people going to the airport don't know where it is.

We made out way down to the Franklin Institute on Saturday to see the Boy King. The Franklin Institute is actually very cool even if it wasn't having the King Tut exhibit. For example, there was this giant inside the Franklin Institute who had unfortunately been turned to stone by an ancient Gorgon:

It's too bad he was turned to stone, I'm sure he could have filled in some details about the giants that use to live in Philadelphia in ancient times.

The Franklin Institute won me over completely with "Legodelphia" - a model of the city of Philadelphia made completely of LEGOs:

The other big highlight for me was this:

Which was billed as "the oldest thing you'll ever touch." Obviously, the Franklin Institute has never seen the inside of my refrigerator. But I touched it anyway. I mean, if something bills itself as the oldest thing you'll ever touch you pretty much HAVE to touch it, otherwise you may get back home and then one night you'll wake up at 3 a.m. screaming "AHHHH! I NEVER TOUCHED IT!!" and you'll probably have to jump in the car right then and drive non-stop back to Philadelphia just to touch it. I also touched the metal bar that goes right through the rock, because I wasn't sure if that was even older than the rock and it looked like everyone else had been touching that part as well because the paint was all worn off.

Although looking around the FI was great, we did eventually make our way to the King Tut exhibit at our appointed time. (The tickets came with a time when you could go to the exhibit, like "Noon to 2 p.m.," which was when you had to show up. We know this because we tried to show up at 11:50 a.m. and were beat about the head with a large golden ankh and told to wait in the gift shop until our appointed time.)

We eventually did get in and I would show you all of the cool artifacts except that there was no photography allowed, no video taping allowed, and no juggling of flaming batons allowed. I know, I know, when are the Schaads going to go to an exhibit, museum or mall that actually allows photography? I don't know, it's a mystery.

However, the King Tut exhibit web site does has a number of nice photos. You can view these in all of their glory here:

The exhibit itself was pretty cool. Even though there were a few artifacts missing from the exhibit (coughDEATHMASKcough) that really wasn't too disappointing. One thing that was definitely a bummer were the crowds. I mean, how dare these people come to the museum on the SAME DAY that I did! Unbelievable. (When I think of museums I think of almost-deserted, large open areas with priceless artifacts in the middle of the room. You know, like the pictures above provided by the Franklin Institute. Instead, what you should picture is a busy day at Disney World, with a throng of people who WILL NOT MOVE standing around something - what you're not sure, because there are too many people in the way to see it and they WILL NOT MOVE. That would be a more accurate picture of what you're going to see, as opposed to the photos above which do not show any people, particularly people who WILL NOT MOVE.)

The second day of our trip - well, third if you count the first day - was spent touring the historic section of Philadelphia. We saw three crossings in all: Hippos, Egrets and Scarab Beetles. We also saw the Liberty Bell, Independence Hall, and the Ancient Home of Giant Philadelphians, or what was left of it. (There was only a few bricks, an old fire pit and a broadsword of hobbit detection +2.)

When we arrived home from our weekend, we asked the kids what they enjoyed the most and while the educational aspects of the trip did rank high, the clear winner was our night out at Dave & Busters Friday. Cassie played air hockey with anyone who would play her and crushed all takers (sadly, she wasn't wagering on her games.) Actually, there was one person who defeated her - her Dad, who won a fierce battle 7 to 6 but not before Cassie tried to take him out with a puck to the head. Dad fought on through the hazy-double-vision to seal the win. (And Carl would like to take a moment to dispel those "bad loser" stories that are going around.)

Connor wowed the crowds with his inhuman DDR performance, which defies all explanation as well as attempts to photograph. Now that the family has just purchased a camcorder, videos will no doubt soon grace the blog. But not of me.

Nor of King Tut, as video recording the Boy King is expressly forbidden. Especially if he would have been at the museum.

Posted by Carl at 3:46 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)