Flickr photo of Barry ©dejay181

The UK Meteorological Office is issuing a first-ever hurricane prediction, calling for only ten more named storms (for a total of 12 this season). This is far than more U.S. groups are calling for, if you recall my earlier chart. The average prediction there is 14.9 storms, although nine-tenths of a storm doesn't sound very bad.

So why the big difference? The UK researchers claim their methodology is "more advanced," using fancy-shmancy computer simulations of the atmosphere and oceans, as opposed to the complex dart-throwing methods of U.S. researchers. The UK researchers claim their computer ("Hal") shows a cooling of ocean waters, which would mean less storm development and the Global Warming heralded End of Everything As We Know It.*

The Atlantic hurricane seasons officially runs through the end of November.

AP Article on British Prediction

*Okay I made that up.

Posted by Carl at 3:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Search Engine firm plans reduction in solar output, saves planet from Global Warming

Google Chairman and Chief Executive Eric Schmidt today announced that the company has reached an agreement to purchase of the sun. The sun, bought for a stock swap valued at fourteen quintrillion dollars, had no comment at press time but directed people to its new website: sun.google.com.

"Google has been mapping the sun for the last three years," Schmidt said, "and this acquisition just made sense." No immediate plans for the sun have been decided, Schmidt added, although Global Warming is the first issue the search giant plans to tackle.

"Global Warming threatens the entire earth. But not only is the entire earth threatened by Global Warming, so is Google's livelihood. We estimate it will cost at least fifteen quintrillion dollars to redraw all of our maps once the ice caps have melted and flooded the planet. In that light, purchasing the sun is a natural step for us which will result in long-term efficiencies."

Schmidt was vague when asked about specific plans to tackle Global Warming.

"Our engineers are only in the initial stages of examining the sun problem." Schmidt admitted. "We may just install a dimmer switch and turn the sun down a little bit, but it's really too early to say."

Google declined to address persistent Internet rumors that they will be charging everyone on earth a "sun tax" to keep the sun on.

Posted by Carl at 9:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Vatican Tuesday issued a set of "Ten Commandments" for motorists to observe, citing the huge role driving now plays in our contemporary lives. And so, without further ado: The Ten Commandments of Driving:

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

Unfortunately, page two of the Vatican memo to the press was eaten by the fax machine and, as a result, we were not told about these additional commandments:

11. Thou shalt use thy turn signal, when thou dost turnest, but well before thy turn.

12. Thou shalt lookest behind thyself, and to thy right, and to thy left, and then again to thy right and backside, when driving thy car in reverse.

13. Whilst driving thou shalt not pick up thy cellphone, and spake unto it, communicating with thine spouse, or accountant, or secretary, or pets, or other persons thereof, unless thou wishes much calamity to befall thee and thine insurance policy.

14. Always giveth great berth to thy friends, the bicycle driving brothers and sisters, lo even unto granting them the entire road, for yea verily they dost intrude on thy lane, and signal not with their arms, and weave back and forth in a most distracting manner, inviting all sorts of disaster upon themselves.

Good luck out there.

Posted by Carl at 3:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This Reuters article, The world's refugees: " I feel humiliated," includes the following statement:

The article goes on to say absolutely nothing else about Global Warming. It doesn't expand on that thought, it doesn't explain where that comes from or how they arrived at that conclusion. Or, perhaps I missed it. If you read the article and see the part where it explains how Global Warming will displace one-sixth of the world's population in forty years, leave a note in the comments.

Posted by Carl at 9:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Nine firefighters died last night while fighting a furniture warehouse blaze when the roof collapsed in on them. While the cause of the fire is under investigation, arson is not suspected. To lose even one firefighter is difficult to wrestle with, but nine? “To lose nine is just a tragedy of immense proportions,” Charleston Mayor Joseph P. Riley said. “To lose nine is just unbelievable.”

Riley added, “This is a profession that we must never take for granted."

I'm sure the families of those who died serving can use your prayers.

More from the Charleston Post & Courier
Site of the Fire (Google Maps)
Sofa Suer Store Website

Posted by Carl at 9:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The Miami Herald has an interesting article, "Candid storm chief gets a lashing," posted on Saturday to their website. It discusses the public criticism that the new director of the National Hurricane Center, Bill Proenza, has leveled at NOAA. In question is a hurricane satellite called QuikScat which was launched in 1999 and is now past its prime. Proenza complains that there is no replacement plan for QuikScat and its loss would mean a reduction in the quality of hurricane forecasts.

Proenza has also been an outspoken critic of spending habits at NOAA, specifically a multi-million dollar PR campaign for NOAA's 200th anniversary.

Now apparently Proenza has been chastised for his comments by the acting director of the National Weather Service. And yes, you probably do need a flowchart at this point to keep track of everyone. Will "Hurricane Bill" survive at the NHC? Will NOAA get rid of him before or after the '07 hurricane season? Proenza himself seems to think his resume may need dusting off: ''I don't think they can pull the rug out from under me right now,'' he said, "but there is no question they are trying to muzzle me.''

Posted by Carl at 9:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Some people have written to say, "Well, at least Carl hit 40 first." In fact, some of you went so far as to say that I hit 40 Long Ago, as is many Xs and Ls ago. Unfortunately, this is not the case. Alert Birthday Acquirer Tammy managed to get to 40 first, such that I am not 40 yet, and will not be for a few months. These intervening months - the time between June 14 and August 12 - are known as "The Dark Months" or sometimes "The Bleak Weeks."

Of course, the downside of hitting 40 second is that the first person has all of that time to plan something nefarious. So, I'm on the look out for nefarious plans. We'll see.

Posted by Carl at 9:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I've been going through the comment spam recently and I came across a message that was entirely in another language. At first, I thought this might be some sort of shiny new compliment from a reader in a far-away land. After some experimentation with Babel Fish I translated it from Italian into English. And - yes *sigh* - it was spam. It was apparently an ad for tickets of some sort. Part of the translation went like this:

"Always - I hope infinite ways towards that I have these..."

And I thought that was great. I hope infinite ways. I'll have to add that to my business cards...

(If I accidentally deleted your comment in the Great Comment Spam Purge of 2007 please forgive me. Two tickets are in the mail to you at this very moment.)

Posted by Carl at 10:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well there's been a definite dearth of blog posts lately, which gives me a great opportunity to use the word "dearth" in a blog post. Yes, yes, I'll wait while you fetch the dictionary. (Or just go to M-W.com) One of the reasons for this dearth is because we've been eagerly anticipating the arrival of today, June 14. For, you see, today Alert Birthday Girl Tammy has turned

That's forty, as in ten plus ten plus ten plus five plus a few more. Forty is significant for a number of reasons:

1. It's the first number in Roman Numerals to use the mysterious "L". Oh, sure, some Romans just kept using Xs as in "XXXX" but those people were widely derided as yahoos.

2. Forty is the first number after the 30s, as in "Well the 30s are all gone now. We're all out of 30s. Yup, no more 30s."

3. Forty is a great biblical number, being the number of years the Israelites wandered in the desert, the number of days Christ fasted, the number of plagues in Egypt*, and the number of cats on the ark**.

4. It's the age at which you start appearing on various mailing lists, such as AARP.

For those of you just joining the program, I was explaining how Alert Birthday Girl Tammy, who may or may not be my wife, just turned

You're probably asking how we celebrated this cataclysmic event of biblical proportions. Go on, you can ask. I'll wait. How did we celebrate this cataclysmic event of biblical proportion? In a very subdued manner. For the Alert Birthday Girl specifically requested a low-key day. The kids presented their birthday tributes, and we had a cake from Cold Stone Creamery that cost somewhere north of Five Thousand Dollars (and was worth every penny), and I gave her a top secret present that I can't reveal here until some time has passed. But I had specific instructions not to tell anyone that it was Alert Birthday Girl Tammy's birthday or that she was going to be

So I'm keeping that, you know, under wraps.

*One day I'll go into more detail about the 30 other, lesser-known plagues, such as the plague of clover mites, and the plague of gingivitis, and the plague of that green stuff that forms on top of the sour cream after several weeks, but that's all fodder for another post.

**Moses*** originally tried to explain to the cats that only two were allowed, but the cats just gave Moses that look, you know, that look of total disdain that only cats can do, and then walked past him and found a comfy corner on deck 3.

***Not THAT Moses, but Moses, the third cousin of Noah who was, ah, out looking for some sour cream when the rain hit.

Posted by Carl at 7:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

There's two words you probably didn't think you'd see together today. A tropical cyclone (a.k.a. Hurricane) named Gonu is heading for Oman, and then on to Iran. Not only is that fairly unusual, but the cyclone has reached the equivalent strength of a category 5 storm, although it's let off a bit of steam since doing so and is currently category 4. (Still the strongest in that area of the world in modern history.)

Google News is full of Gonu stories, such as this one. Many of the articles focus on the impact on oil and natural gas. This article has an interesting run-down.

Posted by Carl at 9:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The NHC declared the mass of clouds and rain in the gulf Tropical Storm Barry (Manilow). The storm is located southwest of Disney World. As you can see from the following graphic, the storm is headed directly for the Copacabana:

There's no word yet on why Tropical Storm Barry (Manilow) is heading for the Copacabana. However, Blog Hero has it on good authority that music and passion are always the fashion at the Copa. This could explain the storm's movement.

Posted by Carl at 11:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Courtesy AccuWeather.com

Posted by Carl at 9:59 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Courtesy the South Florida Water Management District:

Posted by Carl at 9:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)