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Source: CelebrityHomePhotos.com (Who knew?)

Some news sources, maybe even credible ones, are reporting that actor Tom Cruise is spending TEN MILLION DOLLARS on... do you want to guess? What? No, not a home, but that's a good guess. A private island? Nope. AccuWeather? Way off. No, Tom Cruise is reportedly spending TEN MILLION DOLLARS to build a bunker under his home to protect himself and his family from alien invasion.

I don't even know where to begin. I guess I'll start with Tom Cruise's spokesperson, who said "Tom can neither confirm nor deny that the evil alien overlord Xenu is heading to Earth right now and planning to use his above-ground-home-destroying space ray on Colorado." Okay I made that up. Actually he denied the whole thing, all the while glancing furtively at the sky.

Now, I don't know a lot about the evil alien overload Xenu and his plans to destroy all of our houses (built above ground) with an above-ground-home-destroying space ray, but I really have to wonder. If you're coming from space to earth, are you really going to go to Tom Cruise's house? And if you do, are you going to be content with searching around the place, looking in a few closets, and then throwing up your hands. "He's not home!" And then leave and go destroy George Clooney's house?

I'm sure if any bulldozers show up at the Cruise Compound (pictured at right) we'll all know about it. And, if an evil alien ruler shows up and starts destroying houses built above ground with an above-ground-home-destroying space ray, well, Anderson Cooper will no doubt be there.

Article from This Is London Until Xenu Shows Up and Blasts It

Preparing for Invasion

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