Today we went to a "Character Breakfast." This is where Disney serves you a typical breakfast and Disney Characters visit your table, and it costs two thousand dollars (before tipping.) I'm not complaining, mind you. It's all part of the Disney magic that my extra liver has paid for.

In order to get to breakfast we had to take the bus to the ferry dock, take the ferry to the Magic Kingdom, then take the monorail to the resort. Of course, in order to get to the bus we had to hack our way through three miles of jungle with nothing but a credit card and some Mickey ears.

At the monorail we asked if we could ride up front. As it turns out no one was in there, and we became honorary "co-pilots." We had a great view and received little co-pilot cards. So now we can pilot any monorails we come across.

We ate breakfast at the Polynesian resort, which is based on a real-life set of islands off the coast of New Jersey. They served up plates of bacon, sausage, eggs and fried potatoes. And that was the healthy food. Every so often (and I'm not making this up) the "waffle guy" would come around to the tables and give each person a waffle. It was shaped like a Mickey Head. At first I was given a single waffle and I looked at it, and then I looked at the "waffle guy," and then I looked back at my plate and I was about to say, "Are you serious I'm paying two thousand dollars for this?" but he had already moved on to another table. Later he came back and I looked up at him with the best hungry look I could and I got two waffles.

After I had completely gorged on my waffles the characters came around. This was an elite Character Breakfast and had all of the bestest characters: Mickey, Lilo, Stitch, Pluto, Godzilla, Bea Arthur, Sylvester and Tweety. Only Bea Arthur wouldn't pose for pictures.

After breakfast we were heading out and Cassie stopped to ask someone at the podium to sign her autograph book. This person signed it, but as Cassie came over to Tammy and I the cast member had gone and gotten five more cast members and told Cassie she found more people to sign her book. Apparently she was impressed. While Cassie was getting more signatures she left and got the characters (everyone except Bea Arthur) to sign a special card* for Cassie. She then presented the card with a pink lei and told her that she was the official Hawaiian Princess. Of course we were all thrilled. I was especially thrilled because I figured a title like "Hawaiian Princess" came with some sort of land or mansion or at least a jeweled scepter. I led everyone to the local guest services desk but they told me that it was only a ceremonial title.

We spent the rest of our time at EPCOT. The weather was miserable - varying between a fine mist and a steady drizzly rain. We had planned to go to the Magic Kingdom but forgot that today was the taping of the Walt Disney World Christmas Parade with Regis Philbin and Kelly Ripa. MK was packed, so we went to EPCOT which was where everyone else was. The only thing worse than being at Disney with big crowds is being at Disney with big crowds and set on fire. We hit a few rides, including Soarin' and then retreated to our bungalow. But not before Cassie ordered some margaritas:

We ended the evening at Disney Quest, where Connor spent most of his time playing DDR and Cassie challenged everyone who would listen to a game of air hockey. Connor told me afterwards that some other kids were hanging around the DDR machines and had "used numerous expletives" and he didn't know if he should ignore it or leave the area. I think we had a good talk about it and I warned him that high school would have a lot of that. Not to mention sword fights, fisticuffs and football betting pools. I was glad he mentioned it, and recognized that it wasn't appropriate.

Tomorrow Regis and Kelly film part two of the parade at MK, so it's anyone's guess as to where we'll end up.

Posted by Carl at 10:38 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

As I wrote this I I could hear thunder in the background - until I realized it was 9:30 pm and it was actually the Illuminations fireworks show at EPCOT. They shoot the fireworks off every night to cover up the noise of the giant silver alien spaceship ball blasting off with another cargo hold full of future alien convenience store clerks.

As most of you who have visited Animal Kingdom before know, jambo is Swahili for "Hello." We went to Animal Kingdom today as Alert Guest Blogger Tammy alludes to below. It was on the Kilimanjaro Safari that I was finally able to put to rest all of those rumors that I could be a competent photographer. For example, I took this beauty during the tour:

Almost all of the rest of our safari pictures fell into four categories (these did not appear originally as Jeopardy categories, honest):

1. "The Butts of Animals Large and Small"
2. "Wild Plants of the Savanna"
3. "Backs of People's Heads"
4. "Whose Thumb is That?"

Here's another classic giraffe picture:

After an enjoyable but completely fruitless safari ride I made it my quest to take a picture of an animal - any animal - so that I had at least one. Fortunately I came across this parrot that wouldn't move if you put ten million volts through it:

And as he was completely motionless he made a great photograph. Other highlights today include the talking trash  recycling can and riding the Primeval Whirl. Most people don't know that the Primeval Whirl was created by Disney Imagineers after a night long Yoo-Hoo drinking binge. In what could only be called a fit of chocolate-induced insanity they decided to take the Mad Tea Cups ride and glue it to a roller coaster track. So you have something that goes up and down really fast like a roller coaster, and spins 360° at the same time. Brilliant. Fortunately lunch at Animal Kingdom was so expensive I ate light. Lightly. You know what I mean.

The Recycling Can incident was caught on digital film. Fortunately this can wasn't out on the African Savanna or we would never have seen him:

The autograph book went well today. Several people asked "My autograph?" and "Me?" and "Really?" Early in the day Cassie was given a FastPass by some grateful guest relations people. I would go into more detail about this, and the rest of the day, but Tammy tells me people don't want to read a book.

Posted by Carl at 9:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

(Note from the editor: This post is from Alert Guest Blogger Tammy and appears in its original, unedited form.)

HI Ho this is alert reader Tammy taking the blog over for tonight. Carl is busy doing other things (don't ask what.) So I guess I get to say what happened to the Schaad Family today. We decided to go to Animal Kingdom. Things started out with a bang when Cassie went into the guest services area and asked for autographs. She came out with the FASTPASS slip that was good for any ride at any time. Wow! We weren't expecting that. We immediately went to our favorite ride - the safari ride. Yes it has a name but I can't spell it and it's getting past my bed time. Anyway, Connor had complained back in State College that we never did anything new at Disney. So we are doing our best to do new things. Today, we went on the Primevil Whirl for the first time. Personally I was thinking in the line that I did not want to get on the rollercoaster. But we all boarded the ride and managed to survive (Carl says his neck hurts.)

The best and funniest thing that occurred was the talking recyclable bin that talked and moved. There was a prolonged interaction with the bin with Cassie (who knew her name from the badges that we wear. We went inside to an exhibit area and I asked a cast member who did the bin thing and he was clueless. Even if he knew he wouldn't tell me. But just then another guest stopped to tell that it was the man outside in a blue shirt and had a bag slung around his shoulder. We went out and immediately spotted him. He had his hand in the bag and was talking in to a microphone his other hand. Carl just told me that people don't want to read a book. The net net Cassie kissed the bin and the bin asked her to marry him. Goodnight!

Posted by Carl at 9:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (3) | TrackBacks (0)

Cassie continues to charge ahead of us as we walk in the parks, looking for cast members to sign her autograph book. She almost has one filled up, and I suspect we'll buy another one tomorrow. Today's highlights include one particularly touched and grateful DVC booth attendant. DVC stands for Disney Vacation Club which is Disney's timeshare/tourist trap operation. I've looked into it but I need about $15,500 to buy in. So I'm about $15,000 short at the moment.

In any event, the people working in the DVC booths have got to be the loneliest people at Disney World. Guests avoid those spots like the plague, and won't even make eye contact for fear of it costing $8,000. So Cassie went over and asked the attendant for his autograph. He said it completely made his day, and he gave her a whole roll of stickers.

Another highlight occurred while we were waiting in line for the Candlelight Processional. Cassie was covering the area around the line and asked one of the CP staff for their autograph. The cast member was so floored he ended up making Cassie an origami swan as a thank you.

We all look forward now to the various reactions she gets when she asks people to sign the book. It will make a great memento of the trip.

Posted by Carl at 11:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Today the Schaads went to EPCOT. EPCOT as everyone knows stands for the Extraterrestrial People COnveying Transport. The primary purpose of EPCOT is to lure unsuspecting humans from around the globe and then dazzle them with the giant silver ball. Once dazzled, they enter the ball and are eventually whisked away to another planet where they are forced to man alien convenience stores.

Of course, since I knew all of this we walked right past the giant ball and into the rest of the park. We convinced the kids to try out Mission:Space which was a total, ah, blast. There are two Mission:Space rides: Wimp and Barftastic. We chose "wimp" and it was actually quite pleasant. Alert Navigator Tammy failed to press her two buttons on time, but she was seated next to Cassie who pushes her buttons all of the time and so there was no real problem.

While at EPCOT we dined at the Teppan Edo. Teppan Edo is located in the World Showcase - Japan to be exact, and our reservation was part of the Candlelight Processional. Lunch was great. Our authentic Japanese Chef was "Ken." Ken was a whirlwind of knives and spices. At one point he used the salt and pepper on the grill, on Connor's plate and then on Connor. So, yes, Connor was officially a-salted* at EPCOT.

After lunch we went to the Candlelight Processional. Actually, that's not exactly true. After lunch we went to stand in line for the Candlelight Processional. The kids don't yet appreciate the finer points of standing in line, and both whined a little and then played dead on the concrete. This was terribly amusing to those in line, as they now assumed they got to move up two spaces.

The Candlelight Processional is a retelling of the Christmas story with music. We told the kids it was a cross between a rock concert and an advent calendar. When they saw people filing on stage with oboes and violins they screamed and played dead again. They did perk up, however, when John O'Hurley was introduced.

Mr O'Hurley was the guest narrator for the evening and so read the story, complete with appropriate bible passages. Our kids, who know him from Family Feud (I am not home at that time so don't blame that on me) were thrilled to see him in this new role. I know him from his Seinfeld run as Jacopo Peterman. He did a great job this evening and the crowd loved him. He made some comments about his son William who just turned one year old this December.

One of the only disappointments with the Candlelight Processional was that all of the candles were electric. At first, as people filed in, I was both excited and impressed by the candles. I was impressed because everyone kept their candle burning, and not a single person cried out in pain as hot wax dripped down all over their hands. And I was excited because when you get over a hundred candles together, and everyone is wearing robes - well something is bound to go up in flames and that can be a great photo/blog moment. But then I saw that they were electric candles and there went that post.

I suppose the other disappointment was at the end, when the orchestra played the Hallelujah chorus. A quick quiz: What do you do when the Hallelujah chorus is played? Time's up. After the first three notes I was on my feet, and I was one of the only ones. It was one of those awkward "I'm doing the right thing but I'm the only one" sort of moments. My family joined me, and then the rest of the audience, but for a minute or two I was hoping for an alien ship to beam me out of there.

The rest of the evening was spent at Disney Quest. Disney Quest is a giant building full of video games. Ordinarily I would have a great time at such a place, but it was overrun by about 2,000 kids in identical yellow t-shirts. They were either a school group or a bunch of really small pod people. The only thing I know for sure is that they were everywhere and they were very loud, even for small pod people.

Tomorrow it's on to Animal Kingdom, where I get to try and talk the kids into Expedition Everest. That may be an, ah, uphill climb.

*Carl wants everyone to know that he worked all day on the assaulted/a-salted joke and hopes that everyone appreciates that - for some reason his family just groaned.

**If you knew the insane difficulty of getting this picture you wouldn't be asking my why there are Borg in the background.

Posted by Carl at 10:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

The Schaads went on WHAT ride?

The Magic Kingdom, or MK, is known for three big rides: Splash Mountain, Space Mountain and Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. These comprise the three "mountains" and are some of the most popular rides. Of course, the Schaads aren't known for taking any big risks with theme park rides. I get queasy just thinking about Peter Pan's Flight, and the kids faint dead away if we threaten them with anything faster than the baggage check at the park entrance.

So it was a big surprise when we all found ourselves on Big Thunder Mountain Railroad. When Connor saw the railroad blaze around a corner the first time he turned three shades whiter than his normal white self. Neither child was convinced that the ride would be fun - let alone survivable - but both had a great time. After the railroad we tackled Splash Mountain. I rode next to Connor, and as the car climbed the last great hill he looked at me with a worried expression and said "I love you dad." Summoning all of my finely-honed parenting skills I looked at him and said, "Goodbye son." Then there was a lot of screaming and water and rest is a little fuzzy. I think we all survived though. It's up in the air, so to speak, as to whether we get on Space Mountain. Cassie seems dead set against it, and said that if God had wanted people to ride roller coasters in the dark he wouldn't have made the sun.

Other highlights from our day include Mickey's Philharmagic, which is a brilliant 3D show, It's a Small World and the Mad Teacups. The last I rode begrudgingly, because I hate rides that spin in a circle as they usually make me revisit my rich chocolate Ovaltine, if you know what I mean. I managed to get through it, but only barely so. It didn't help that the ride appeared to be forty minutes long.

Tomorrow we're going to tackle EPCOT. It rained here in the afternoon and tomorrow's forecast has spotty showers. Hopefully it will dry out before 5pm, which is when we're going to see the Candlelight Processional.

Posted by Carl at 9:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Today was a full day - we left Savannah this morning and had lunch at the Cracker Barrel in Jacksonville. There we met Alert Readers Jim and Karen and their delightful children: Abby, Caleb and Rachel. Karen and Jim started reading the blog around the time of our last Disney trip two years ago. This is ironic because here we are visiting Disney again and now meeting them in person. Not only that, but one of the things that caught their eye was Disney Autograph Book Idea - but more on that in a minute.

Our lunch was delightful and not only did we have a great time talking with Jim and Karen they gave us a great tip to avoid some I95 hassles by taking an alternate route through Jacksonville. And I'm all for avoiding I95.

I've noticed that talking to people who read the blog(s) is a bit surreal, as these people know a great deal about you while you know next to nothing about them. I suppose this is normal thing with blogging, but having met so few people it still strikes me as an odd experience. Of course, all sorts of family secrets were spilled over lunch and while I'm not at liberty to share them I'll just say that hunting squirrels is apparently a messy business.

Tonight as we settled into our pre-fab wilderness trailer Alert Survivalist Tammy started unpacking clothes and without missing a beat looked at me and said, "I packed too many clothes." Summoning all of my finely-honed spousal skills I said, "I know." Well, it was better than "I told you so."

Today Cassie insisted on getting an autograph book as soon as we got to MGM Studios, so that we could get cast member (Disney employees) autographs. It was such a hit last time she was excited to try it again. So immediately she started asking cast members to sign it. Most were thrilled and a little taken aback. Then we rode the Star Tours ride and it looked like Cassie had lost the book. We looked around, didn't find it, and then got off of the ride. A gentleman behind us found the book and gave it back to Cassie. He then jokingly suggested that he could sign it for her. Of course Cassie thought this was great. So he took the book and signed it.

His companion (I assume his wife) then proceeded to tell us that the gentleman who signed it (Bob Schul) was actually a gold medal winning Olympic athlete. Apparently Bob won the gold in the 5,000 meter race at the 1964 Tokyo Olympics. Not only that, but Bob shared that there's a video of the race found at BobSchul.net. How wild is that?

We wrapped up our night by visiting the local tourist trap grocery store. Outside there were several tourist skeletons, and something I think was a horse or camel. Inside we found expired meat (well, one day expired, so I suppose that's okay) and Breyers Ice Cream for (no joke) $8 a half-gallon. We decided on the meat.

Posted by Carl at 9:59 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

I wanted to call this post "Bad Metaphor Day" because at one point while driving on I-95 tonight I saw all of the tail lights of the traffic ahead of us and thought, "the car lights are bobbing like drunken fireflies." And then I thought, "Wow that's an extraordinarily bad metaphor." A better metaphor would have been that they were bobbing like panic-stricken drunk fireflies whose underwear was too tight.

The drive down was pretty grim as far as driving on I-95 goes, and that's saying a lot. In fact, the drive was as painful as watching a Gone with the Wind/Pride and Prejudice movie marathon on A&E. Well, almost as painful. Traffic would be buzzing along at 70mph and then suddenly drop to 20mph. And then stop. We observed this in Florida two years ago. The most frustrating thing about this, aside from nearly launching the family into the windshield like penguins being hurled from a catapult at a medieval renaissance fair, was that once traffic resumed normal speed there was no apparent reason for the slow down.

After a few hours of this it can get pretty exhausting. Of course, I'm not the world's most accomplished driver, and anything more than two lanes wide will baffle me.

Tonight we turn in early and tomorrow morning head down to the lobby for a complimentary continental breakfast, which is like a man lost in the desert coming across an oasis full of convenience store clerks handing out coupons for free Ovaltine. After that we head to Orlando, and hope to be in Mickey's domain around 4pm.

Which is kind of like swinging in a hammock on a warm day while sipping lemonade with Jimmy Buffett playing in the background.*

*Well, you know what I mean.

Posted by Carl at 10:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Doc in a Box. Box sold separately.

It turns out that professional medical advice in Richmond is found on just about every corner. Down here they have something called "Doctor in a Box." At least, that's what Tammy calls it. I have no idea if this is a franchise of doctors, or if this is a generic term, or if this is some sort of Brazilian Health Care effort which has taken hold in the south. Since Tammy was familiar with this she was elected official Doctor in a Box parent and had to take Connor.

The Doctor in a Box thing might be a scam, because Tammy said they actually saw a Physician's Assistant. I suppose "Physician's Assistant in a Box" is too long for the sign and loses some of it's charm. The PA did a strep test and the rapid version came back negative. The longer version is one that has to be sent away to a lab and come back long after we're through our vacation, Connor is better, and my bank account is completely drained. Good times.

The PA did NOT do a blood test to rule out East Brazilian Death Fever, which was disappointing, but since it's now almost nine o'clock and the entire city isn't infected I guess we can rule that out. The PA thought it was just a virus, and that Connor should get lots of rest and avoid anything thrilling like Space Mountain or python wrestling.

As of this writing he claims to be feeling better. We're all packed up and ready for the morning. I haven't told Connor yet, but there's a twelve-foot python in his backpack, and it's feeling ornery.

Posted by Carl at 8:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

B&N Treat. Who ordered the small Hot Chocolate, and who ordered the water?

I played chess with the kids today, which is always enjoyable as I crush them mercilessly. I tell them that it builds character, and that's what my father did for me, and money doesn't grow on trees you know. I also ask if they're trying to air condition the entire neighborhood by keeping that door open.

The only problem with playing Connor in chess is that he's getting better and better. When my father played me he would crush me (mercilessly, in fact) which made me all the more determined to win. And one day I did, and much screaming and running about ensued. To say that I was a "good winner" would probably be inaccurate - but I felt I had earned it after years of being crushed (mercilessly). Now Connor is closing in on that day. In fact, I've been encouraging him and when Alert Book Shopper Tammy and I went to Barnes & Noble we actually bought him a chess book called "How to Beat Your Dad at Chess" since this is, in fact, his objective. And tonight he nearly did, putting up a good fight right to the end game. He attributes his success to some advice I gave him yesterday about always asking yourself why your opponent did what he did after each move. I suppose it's only a matter of time until he does his own victory dance.

Important safety tip: Do NOT go to Toys 'r Us on Black Friday. I'm just trying to help.

Tomorrow we spend another day in Richmond and then Sunday morning (probably at some awful hour) we head to Savannah.

*Thinly veiled attempt to use the word "albeit" in a sentence.

Posted by Carl at 9:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Well we made it to Richmond today. The drive out of Pennsylvania was somewhat bleak until we arrived in Virginia and then the sun started to break through. We stopped at a scenic overlook and snapped a photo:

I know this photo is a bit dark and not terribly scenic, but you'll have to trust me when I say that the actual view was great and it's probably your monitor or your video card so go out tomorrow and buy some new ones during the Green Friday* sale.

Tomorrow is Friday and I plan to sleep in later than the ridiculous 7:30 am that Alert Traveler Tammy made me get up at. Is at a preposition? If so I'm sorry to end on that.

We had a great Thanksgiving with family and are looking forward to relaxing the next few days before we take off again on Sunday. I hope you and yours had a wonderful Thanksgiving and find yourselves with much to be thankful for. Is for a preposition?

*I think this is the new pc term. Is pc a preposition?

Posted by Carl at 10:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Actually we have some people coming over regularly to check on Mysty, who unfortunately will be unable to accompany us to Disney World. She took it well. We all had a family meeting - Mysty was on the floor in the middle.

*Blank stare from Mysty*
"Mysty, we have something to tell you."
*Blank stare from Mysty*
"We're going to Disney World."
*Blank stare from Mysty*
"You can't come."
*Blank stare from Mysty*

So all in all it went much better than I expected. And since Mysty is staying home - and we're having someone check in regularly with her - I don't have to buy expensive Attack Llamas.

As the time draws nigh for our departure the Schaads usually experience Departure Panic. This is the phase of the vacation where the adults get cranky, whiny and begin to panic because there's never enough time to do all of the adult things that you want to do. Even if you start three months in advance, it seems like something always comes up to suck away your time and induce Departure Panic. So far things have gone fairly well, although it's pretty certain that tomorrow morning there will be DP. In fact, I'd go so far as to issue a DP warning for the next nine hours or so.

The weather looks pretty good in Orlando according to AccuWeather - highest high of 84, lowest low of 55 although that's towards day 15. Tomorrow morning's departure weather looks dreary and wet, though thankfully no snow.

Posted by Carl at 11:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

That sounds like a great title for some sort of weather disaster movie or something but no, it's just the Schaad Vacation. Today a cold I've been carrying for just such an emergency suddenly got worse. Then Connor got a migraine and, ah, hurled, and then the cat threw up. All I know for sure is that one of us probably has hairballs.

As we're winding down here on the pre-trip preparation I decided that I would go to Wal-Mart. I would "run in." Have you ever done a "run in?" That's where you think that you can get in and out of the store quickly - because really you only need one or two items and so what could take so long? I needed an antihistimine though. And apparently all of the really good antihistimines are behind the pharmacy counter now, because some kids somewhere decided to buy over the counter antihistimines and grind them into powder and make some kind of illegal drug. Me, I just take the stuff as recommended and end up pretty out of it. Or I slug a few rich chocolate Ovaltines.

So I'm in Wal-Mart and I get the little card that says "Over The Counter Antihistimine That You Can Grind Up Into A Powder And Mix With Your Ovaltine" and take it to the pharmacy, but there was a couple in front of me already doing the same thing. And, as I watched, the couple had to show ID, sign a chart, get fingerprinted and photographed, have a retinal check - and at that point, I just put the card down and left. I don't know that I've ever been that impatient and disgusted with a check out before. I decided it wasn't worth it and got one of the extremely uneffective still-on-the-shelf decongestants and left.

Of course, when I went to check out I picked the aisle with the person who couldn't operate the credit card scanner. She apparently (I am not making this up) had to enter her zipcode for who knows what reason and couldn't do it. I think she was trying to enter the thirty digit zipcode with hyphens and all it wanted was five digits. Quick - can you say your five digit zipcode?

I thought you could. But this woman did look like maybe she had taken too many good antihistimines earlier in the day.

Last day tomorrow - and I still have to dig a protective home moat, stock it with alligators, and feed the attack llamas.

Posted by Carl at 10:01 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

State College actually saw snow today - we woke up to 1-2" on the ground (I'm sure the snow was "much deeper" at Jesse's, Henry's and Joe Bastardi's house, as always seems the case) and it snowed lightly throughout the day. The sky in the evening was very weird; like a giant ashen blanket - a thick gray color not unlike the color of your dearly departed loved one's remains being deposited at a Disney ride.

I made a comment in a comment on the blog about drinking and blogging. Of course, I was referring to rich chocolate Ovaltine - it's possible that some of you might have thought I was referring to some other type of beverage. I have to say, after the third or fourth glass of rich chocolate Ovaltine I get pretty punchy, and then a little woozy, and then I usually black out and wake up in some downtown restaurant in front of a plate of half-eaten Ham Loaf covered with a delicious ganache.

Alert Reader Michele commented about the commenting system, in that now it seems to have gotten more strict. I did change something recently as a test and neglected to change it back - I believe now you have to leave an email address to comment. I was getting literally hundreds of spam comments that had no email address, and that was an easy fix for that. But, it doesn't allow anonymous commenting, so I may switch it back.

Today we got some more packing and cleaning done in preparation for the trip. The weather is looking good - Henry's Thanksgiving blizzard looks doubtful as the forecast is now "Cloudy, breezy and mild with a chance of rain" and a high of 55. Orlando looks warm, although a cool down is forecasted towards the end of our visit (it's day 15 of the forecast, so I don't know how much stock to put in that.)

I'm watching the news as I type this (and I'm on my second rich chocolate Ovaltine) and I've seen three different drug ads. The first commercial said that the drug was linked to rare fatal side effects. I'm thinking fatal in this instance means that they lost a few customers. The second was for a sleep aid that says that some people took the drug and then went sleep-driving. The third drug said that it (very rarely) caused serious liver complications. All that's enough to make me permanently swear off medicine for vitamins and herbs. And rich chocolate Ovaltine.

Posted by Carl at 12:48 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Today was my favorite day - Saturday - because Saturday is the day that I can sleep late. That's a great thing because I love to sleep. It should be noted that while I love to take naps I'm not sure I understand my - and everyone else's - willingness to daily surrender their consciousness.

Five days left. Today I rain-x'ed the car. I wasn't sure how well I did so I used that as an excuse to go to the car wash and spray the car and then test out the windows. I'm proud to report that there was plenty of beading of water. A success!

I discovered something about myself this weekend - I feel really guilty when I go to the deli counter at the grocery store, I feel my presence is just a bother. I mean, who am I to ask the Meat Lords for some turkey? But as I braved the counter for my children today, Connor said that he wanted some chicken breast - chipped. I think the staff behind the counter loves to hear the word "chipped" almost as much as the words "five pounds."

Posted by Carl at 1:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I guess technically it's five days, since it's after midnight, but I was never very good at math or dates or calendars. I really don't know why we didn't just make 10 months, or each month have 30 days, or something easier to remember. 24 hours of 60 minutes? Just weird.

I made excellent progress on the prep list today. Of course, I had to add a few items in the morning but I've gotten quite a bit checked off. I paid some bills, did some consulting, read some depressing blog posts, and bought some DOVE® Unconditional Chocolate Ice Cream. I'm a big fan of DOVE® chocolate, and the ice cream comes with a layer of silky smooth DOVE® Chocolate ganache. Really, you can add ganache to just about anything and make it better. Except maybe ham loaf.

This is a big weekend for the Schaads and our trip preparation. I should know by Sunday night if things are going well or if we'll have to go sometime next year. The forecast is holding up. It looks like Orlando will be in the upper 70s when we get there. And the temperature for our State College departure is now in the upper 40s, which nixes any snow or ice.

Posted by Carl at 12:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

I try to avoid the really, really, REALLY depressing stories that I come across, but sometimes you read something so heinous you actually feel a responsibility to share it so that everyone on earth knows about it.

So, this is one of those stories. I'll caution you now, it's depressing, outrageous, nauseating, and utterly dismaying. So, I guess you were warned.

But if you can, click here to read about Megan Meier and Josh Evans, their relationship on MySpace and the awful, bizarre turn it took.

Filed under: Disaster because that's the closest category I have to describing this.

Posted by Carl at 12:14 AM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

Alert Reader Susan sent this article that tells the tale of a woman scattering what some think are a dead person's ashes - that is, the ashes of a formerly live person who is now no longer here - on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland in California.

Okay, before I get into this I'm going into rant mode so please, if you have weak stomachs, back trouble or a heart condition don't board this ride. What is with the people and the ashes scattering? Do these people request to be scattered prior to dying? Or is this the idea of the relative who has the ashes after the fact? And why are the ashes put in an urn? Why would you want to keep that sort of thing? What if someone is cremated, put in an urn and given to another person, and then that person dies - what happens to the urn? Do they put that up in an estate auction? Do they empty it first? Is there really any use for an urn other than ash-holding? I really don't understand it at all. Cremate me and just put me somewhere where I won't ruin someone's vacation.

Okay, sorry about that. Apparently Disney had to stop the Pirates ride and find out what the woman had dumped (there are cameras in the ride just for this sort of occasion) and she claimed it was baby powder. Why would you want to dump baby powder on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride? That's almost as bizarre as dumping ashes.

But the weirdest part of this whole thing may be that some claim this is a growing trend. Apparently all of the coolest ashes are being dumped in theme parks nowadays. But (okay, rant on again) if you're dumped in a ride like Pirates, and the water is circulated, won't you just end up somewhere else anyway? Wouldn't it be as effective to use a Disney toilet? (rant off) Sorry I just can't help myself.

ABC News is now reporting that Disney claims there are no human remains anywhere, that this really doesn't happen and that everything is fine. Which I would expect them to say, since just thinking about this creeps me out a little.

The article then helpfully states that there are no cameras on "It's A Small World" so now you just KNOW people are going to start doing some weird things in there.

If I see any urns at the park I'll try to get a picture for the blog.

Posted by Carl at 3:53 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

I missed a post yesterday, which means no one will ever see the sticky 8 I created. Maybe I'll link to it in a future post, so those of you collecting at home will have a full set.

I've been working on a number of consulting projects in addition to the regular weather fare, which has been keeping me up late and interfering with the important things in life like blogging and family. Well, blogging. We have quality family time all of the time, with my family coming up to me and saying things like, "You missed a day," and "What happened to 8?" See, you think I do this for my Google Adsense program (which is up to a whopping $9.43) but actually I do it for the family. The kids think it's actually a treat when I turn on the computer's text to speech function and have it read my blog. And I'd have to agree there's nothing quite so funny as having your computer say, "Golden Delicious Hostess Twinkies." (It does a surprisingly good job too.)

We're starting to make a dent in the list. Teachers have been contacted, special clothes have been purchased, our drugs have arrived from Canada. The special clothes include head-to-toe mosquito proof suits for enjoying the great Floridian Outdoors. The Canadian drugs was a last minute addition: I received an email that said I could purchase valium for a fraction of what it would cost to get it from my doctor legitimately.*

Tomorrow will be day six and yes I have a sticker for that. But, it will also be a Friday, so I've had to add some things to the list. "Get up," "brush teeth," and "eat three square meals" have all been added in the hopes of giving me some momentum. We'll see.

*The Blog Hero Legal Team, also known as "Sven," has asked me to add the following statement: The Blog Hero, Blog Hero, Inc., Blog Hero LLC, Blog Hero Etc., Blog Hero E I E I O, in no way endorses the obtaining of drugs improperly from Canada, or Mexico, or Florida, or really any other place, nor does same endorse Canada, Mexico, the Loonie, the current value of the Loonie against the U.S. Dollar, or the Japanese Mafia. Please consult your doctor about any health care decisions you make. Side effects include drowsiness, fatigue, a tired feeling, a sleepy tired feeling, dry tongue, insomnia, headaches, an annoying burning rash in an unfortunate place, growing extra limbs, liver rot, heat vision, and eventually death.

Posted by Carl at 12:02 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

(This is a duplicate from 37below, as I'm linking to the comments section for those who wish to post/vent...)

Now that the vacation is getting close I've been scrutinizing the forecast for our major stops. We'll bve traveling to Richmond, VA on Thanksgiving Day, and then that Sunday we'll be driving to Savannah and then Monday to Orlando.

The forecast I'm most concerned about is Thanksgiving Day in State College, as Henry keeps alluding to some sort of snow storm and, well, what are the odds that we can sneak out of town without some sort of weather hassle?

Not good, apparently:

You can see that the forecast taunts me - even the night before looks messy, which was my backup plan. The forecast for Richmond is kind of ugly:

But thankfully Orlando is looking great:

Of course, it's still early - even for the State College forecast, so I'll have to keep checking on it.

You can leave a comment on this post at the other blog, or email me here. Thanks for the Disney tips - feel free to leave/send more!

Posted by Carl at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Today Cassie informed me that we were in "single digits" meaning that it's nine days until we leave on our trip. I wasn't going to blog tonight because Tammy and I went out for Chinese earlier tonight and now at 11:45pm I feel like someone Tae Kwan Do'ed me in the stomach. And I'm tired. And I'm a little whiny.

BUT, I figured I had to blog because I spent a lot of time developing my number stickers for these posts. Today I washed the all of the moveable parts of the car. Okay, I made that up. But we did get the oil changed and had new gold-plated windshield wipers installed, which you would think wouldn't work very well but based on the cost I have to assume they were gold-plated. We also had the little light replaced in the car that is supposed to turn on when you open the door, sort of like the little light in the refrigerator. It was previously burned out, but now when we open the car door we can see how much mayonnaise is left.

Posted by Carl at 11:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

It's come to my attention that I may have reported something inaccurately in a previous entry. Being the stalwart bastion* of truth and accurate reporting that I am** I feel compelled to set the record straight.

Previously, I mentioned that Cassie took a blow to the head which disqualified her TKD opponent, netting her the First Place Trophy. This may have given an incomplete view of her bone-crushing, death-dealing TKD powers as it sounds like she walked in off the street, got whacked in the head and won. Of course, nothing could be further from the truth. She is, in fact, a human dynamo not unlike a combination of Batman and the Incredible Hulk. Except she isn't green. And, doesn't have a really cool car like the Batmobile.

What actually happened is that Cassie and this Unnamed Boy who we'll call U.B. were locked in a fierce battle, exchanging blows and points as the clock wound down. As the whistle was blown (or maybe it was a gun being fired) the points were tallied and Cassie and U.B. were tied. So there had to be a sudden death match. These things are always called sudden death as it's a Tae Kwan Do rule.

It was during this sudden death match that Cassie cleverly placed her head in harm's way in order to win the match. It was a brave gesture - heads are very valuable and hard to re-grow. U.B., when he realized what he had done, rent his garments and wailed most loudly.

I'm glad that's cleared up.

*Okay, I've always wanted to be a stalwart bastion of something.

**Stop that snickering.

Posted by Carl at 10:58 PM | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)

Have you ever been so unsuccessful with a list you've made that you start putting easy things on the list just to check them off? Today I added "Wake up" and "Eat" and was able to check two things off on my list. Some professional people* who have studied this sort of thing insist that checking things off of a list releases endorphins which are these little tiny chemicals in the brain that stimulate the magical "chocolate zone" which in turn makes you feel like you've just eaten chocolate, which is a happy feeling. However, other professional people who have studied this sort of thing suggest you run twenty miles to release endorphins, so there you go.

I have to confess that I really didn't feel much of anything after I checked off "Wake up" and "Eat." When I checked off "Eat" it was because I had a Golden Delicious Twinkie, which although golden AND delicious has 0% of the RDA of chocolate.

Tomorrow's list includes hand-washing every moveable part of the car, digging my own well for oil and dressing myself. I hope to get at least one task checked off.

*I tried looking for these professional people but all my Google Search would turn up were bloggers, and we know we can't trust anything they say.

Posted by Carl at 10:10 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Pump price to jump 20 cents next 2-3 weeks: government

(Note: I'm not complaining, because it could always be worse. For example, when you pull into the gas station there could be an attendant there, and as soon as you step out of your car he could spray you with gas, set you on fire, and THEN charge you $4 a gallon.)

Miles to Disney and Back: 2,108
Honda CRV Gas Mileage: 26 mpg Highway
Gas: $264
Disney Memories: Priceless

Posted by Carl at 8:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

Today Alert Shopper Tammy and I spent some time reviewing the lists that I had painstakingly created for our trip to Disney. Tammy pointed out that I had spelled mayonnaise wrong. I replied that mayonnaise is a thick sauce made primarily from vegetable oil and egg yolks. She just looked at me.

After we had decided that I shouldn't be in the kitchen nor should I write lists without a good spell-checker we managed to cross some items off. These were primarily items I had inadvertently duplicated. We also crossed off some things that were so badly spelled neither one of us knew what they were (whether made of egg yolks or otherwise.)

In the midst of our trip preparation Cassie had a Tae Kwan Do tournament. It was held locally as her school served as host for schools around the region. Cassie had signed up for "sparing sparring*," which is Tae Kwan Do-ese for "pounding your foe to putty." Of course, they all have protective gear so that no one really turns to putty. Cassie had to battle those in her age group, and of course they were tall boys. But she exhibited finesse and put all of our keen parenting lessons to work and engaged one of the boys in conversation before the big battle. Cassie made a comment that the second and third place trophies were nice, too, because they were a lot smaller and would fit on a book shelf easier. To which the boy responded, "I have too many trophies for my shelves."

Well that was all Cassie needed to hear. When it came time to spar she was determined to make putty. But in the middle of the fight Cassie took a foot to the head and crumpled to the floor like a jar of mayonnaise. Which turned out to be great news - because she wasn't hurt in any permanent, disfiguring way and any contact to the head automatically disqualifies the offending party. So Cassie ended up winning first place - the very tall trophy - and all because she (wait for it) used her head.

The forecast for our trip is starting to take shape. It looks good, and dry, if not a little cold here in State College. Orlando is looking to be in the high 70s/low 80s, which I think I can put up with.

*Sparing, of course, is the act of sharing something. You know, like "He was sparing as much mayonnaise as he could and still have a tangy delicious sandwich himself." Sigh.)

Posted by Carl at 11:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBacks (0)

In an effort to have as much fun as possible I made two lists for our trip to Disney World. The first list I called "The List of Everything To Do Before Going To Disney World." The second list I called "Everything I Think I Should Pack To Take On Our Trip To Disney World." I discovered two very important things while going through this exercise that I will be including in my forthcoming book, "Everything You Should Do and Pack Before Going To Disney World." My publisher* has suggested that I not publish any of these tips now because it may undercut the sale of my book but that's okay - some things are just too important not to share. Not only that, but you'll be so grateful for these occasional trip to Disney World tips that you'll happily buy the forthcoming book. And copies for all of your friends and neighbors.

The two things that I learned are:

A. I have so much to do that we'll probably be going to Disney World when the kids are out of college,
B. I'm going to have to rent a U-Haul.

I suppose I may have gone overboard with the lists. For example, my list of things to do before I go to Disney World include gratuitous entries such as #34 Hold Mail and #12 Have Someone Feed Cat. At this point you might suggest, "Well, don't just sit there blogging - get to work!" I thought about this response, and decided that when you suggest that I would point out that I'm not just blogging, but I'm watching Saraha on TV. So, really, I'm accomplishing more than just blogging, I'm sort of entertaining myself. Also, it's much more effective to take another look at my list and eliminate some things instead of trying to get all of it done at this point. Items like #119 Pack Clothes and #87 Sleep will have to be eliminated.

I used the Internet to come up with my list of things to pack for Disney World. There are many helpful sites out there with titles like "Useful Site of Things to Pack for Disney World" and "How to Pack For A Trip To Disney World" and "Fill Up That U-Haul Now!" that can give you some good starting points. I discovered that my initial list was wholly inadequate. It consisted of things such as clothes, car keys, comb and Rich Chocolate Ovaltine. I never even thought that I should pack duct tape, nunchakus, my television set, dvd player, a really, really long extension cord, DVDs of all 3,000 episodes of Pokémon, earplugs, a taser, extra batteries and taser coils, and silly string. So in order not to miss anything I compiled all of the lists I found and made one master list. It's 12 pages long.

Did you know that camels can run up to 40 mph in short bursts? I'm still watching Sahara and I saw some camels running after a train so I had to go to Wikipedia and check on that. To me, a camel looks like the sort of animal that would know better than to run up to 40 mph in short bursts. I mean, that takes entirely too much effort.

So with 12 days left I just need to get the house cleaned, balance the checkbook, write two books, blog, cure insomnia, and figure out how my Honda CRV is going to tow four tons of Pokémon.

But I'm cautiously optimistic, and there's still an hour left of Sahara.

*Okay I made that up. Publishers interested in a great book idea can contact me here.

Posted by Carl at 10:18 PM | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBacks (0)

This is all part of my diabolical master plan which I developed while I was on hiatus overseas but through the miracle of wireless technology was still able to blog and delete blog comments here. Downloadable PDF of diabolical master plan, t-shrts, luggage tags and toasters all coming soon.

Posted by Carl at 3:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)