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Gushy Anniversary Post
August 7, 2008There's been a running joke about "Alert Reader Tammy, who may or may not be my wife" on my blog(s) for some time, and I don't know that I've ever explained that. As we just celebrated our 18th wedding anniversary, which I told her was the "LEGO" anniversary but let's just say I'm still waiting, I thought I should explain where that came from. It's not an exciting story, although I'm tempted to make one up. But my point here is to describe why I had appeared to be reluctant to just say "wife!" and be done with it.
When I first started blogging I wrestled with a lot of common blogger things. These involved being broke, spending time on something that would enhance my brokeness, writing to no one in particular about nothing in particular (and then getting hate email for it), and most importantly privacy and how closely to guard it. I was hesitant to identify members of my family and legal team and so the first few times I mentioned Tammy it was in the context, "who may or may not be my wife." I figured there was some deniability built in there, in case someone might had preferred to remained anonymous.
Of course this very quickly degenerated into a joke that I had to use every single time Tammy came up. In fact she was brought up a few times just so I could use the joke.
The "Alert Reader" thing was a bit of irony, since early on Tammy didn't read the blog much, if at all. She still isn't a big reader, although she's since gotten on Facebook which may be a sign of the end times, I'm not sure yet.
That's the gist of the story. We celebrated 18 years of wedded bliss. I'm very blessed to have met Tammy and thank God often. Meeting your future spouse on the Internet 20 years ago was still something of a feat, and I'd guess that most people who managed to meet that way back then, and then get married, are probably no longer together. But that's just a guess. The biggest tip I can offer on marriage, and it's not terribly unique or deep, is that marriage isn't a 50-50 deal. Marriage is a 100-100 arrangement. There are times and seasons in life that will require each spouse to, for a time, give more than they may feel is "fair" or "equitable;" they may have to give sacrificially, beyond what is comfortable, and without rest. For a time. If you instead believe all effort is split in half things will break down pretty quickly. Love is patient, and it keeps no records of wrongs.
Hopefully my dysfunctional body will hold up for another 18. By then the LEGOs really start to accumulate.
Comments
Amen to that!
Posted by: Carol | August 7, 2008 11:26 AM
Congratulations to both of you, and many more (with or without Legos).
Posted by: Susan B. | August 7, 2008 12:05 PM
AMEN!!! Well written! Marriage is for sure something that takes work - but it is SO much worth it. Congrats on 18 years! We'll hit 18 years ourselves for our next anniversary. There won't be any legos then; well, new ones, anyway. Our gameroom floor is testimony to the fact that we have plenty of legos already.
Posted by: Angie | August 7, 2008 10:51 PM
Congratulations to the both of you! May you and Alert Reader Tammy have many more happy years together.
Posted by: Edward R. | August 7, 2008 11:12 PM
20 years ago? Yeah, I regularly picked up guys on the internet. (Just not you.) So when I introduced my mom to the guy I'd marry, she asked him what city he was from.
That was pretty funny.
Good to see you're still blogging/etc. I think the last time I checked in was two jobs ago.
Posted by: T | August 12, 2008 2:07 PM
Happy Anniversary!
And didn't you both have birthdays recently, too?
Posted by: Sue T | August 12, 2008 5:34 PM