Sometimes you have to wonder why certain things are. For example, today I found out that there is actually something called an "Albino Ratfish." Why on earth would there be an albino ratfish? I mean, I suppose if there was a ratfish and it lived in white caves it might evolve into an albino ratfish, because then it could, you know, hide really well. But that begs the question - Why is there a regular ratfish?

In case you were wondering where the name came from:

Nice. Rodentlike teeth that can crush clams. Someone alert Stephen King...

Photo of the Albino Ratfish (I would put a copy here but I don't want to ugly-up the blog with ratfishes. fishies. ratfish. You know what I mean.)

Posted by Carl at 10:23 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I received at least one comment about my grub situation. An email came in from Alert English  Reading Teacher Beth about the grubs, and that I really don't want grubs, and never, ever, EVER, have sympathy for a grub because as soon as you turn your back the grub will start telling all of your friends about that time you had too much of the spiked punch and started doing Barry Manilow karaoke much to the dismay of yourself and everyone within earshot. So that's apparently a grub for you; it would just as soon poke you in the eye with a sharp stick as look at you.

So, to allay everyone's fears, I should explain that the grub alert was just part of a radio commercial and not an actual diagnosis of lawn grubs. Although, if I had to choose between having my lawn cursed by an old gypsy woman or having lawn grubs, I would probably...sing karaoke with Barry Manilow.

"Her name was Lola...she was a show girl..."

Posted by Carl at 9:12 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

I heard that on the radio this morning. And, for a moment, I felt sympathetic towards the grubs. I mean, they're actually forming teams, with a common goal. They're determined, making plans... But then I remembered they were just grubs.

Posted by Carl at 10:45 AM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Here's the alternative to the earlier animal picture, the earlier animal being a cat which, as almost all of you know, is usually brain-damaged. They don't come that way - it sort of accumulates as they grow. There may be something in the cat food that causes this. I've noticed too that with aging comes SDS - Severe Disdain Syndrome - where the cat will eventually be unable to do anything but stare at you as though you were something unimportant, like a human being.

Posted by Carl at 11:27 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

Sorry, I had to blog about something different, and this was the most different thing I could come up with. I know cats are mostly brain-damaged, but they are cute. When they're small like that. Bonus points if you said "Awwwww" out loud. I'll try to post something for the dog lovers out there a little later (you know who you are.)

Feel like venting? Feel free to comment "Dog" or "Cat" in the comments section

Or if you prefer to laugh at your hapless host, you can try these oldies but goodies:
• Carl's Catastrophic Calamity Chart (pdf)
• Club Quarters Review
• Dental Day Part 1 | Part 2
• Schaads in Richmond Part 1 | Part 2
• All About Clover Mites
• Never Nod at an Old Gypsy Woman
• Ancient Venezuelan Mower Curse

Posted by Carl at 5:49 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

"He failed to beat it to death but did cut off its tail."

(This is what is known as "foreshadowing" in the biz.) The rest of the story.

Incidentally, there are those that I work with at AccuWeather who know I have this bad habit (a penchant, perhaps) of saying, "If this was a movie..." to certain situations, after which I'll set up the scene which may or may not be humorous. And I can't help but think here, if this (quote) was a movie, the next thing you'd see would be the man getting ready to open the kitchen door while everyone in the theatre screams "NO! NOT THAT DOOR!"

Fortunately, life is sometimes more ironic than the movies.

Posted by Carl at 11:21 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)

No, that's not something that Robin would shout right before a battle with the Joker's henchmen - that's actually something you might encounter on Madagascar. They're called Giant Jumping Rats because they can leap 3' in the air, and they're twelve feet tall. Learn all about these amazing creatures here, as well as what to do when mugged by a group of them.

Posted by Carl at 9:57 PM | Permalink | TrackBacks (0)