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Main
That's a lot of stuffed Mickeys...
Have you bought/plan to buy anything from Disney this year? (I, unfortunately, must plead the Fifth)
(UPDATE: This entry previously claimed that Disney 2008 X Merchandise would exceed $30B. I want to state in no uncertain terms that Disney does not sell X merchandise, whatever that would be, and even if they did it's unlikely that they will move $30 billion dollars worth. However, if anyone could unload X, Y or Z merchandise to the tune of $30 billion it would probably be Disney. Or maybe Procter and Gamble.)
Vacation withdrawal has set in. It's similar to Christmas withdrawal, which usually sets in around January 3rd as you head back to work and pass everyone's Christmas Tree dragged out to the curb, some shrouded in plastic bags, or tinsel, or tied up with biodegradable hemp-like twine. It usually takes about a week after arriving home to get a full-blown case of VW - the intervening week is good for recovering from the ridiculously long drive, unpacking goodies and going through all of the spam email you received while away.
It may be that VW is exacerbated by the digital photo revolution too. Previously, you return home after the vacation with dozens of rolls of film, or instant cameras, and you were too broke to get any of them developed. As a result, you had no photographs to pine over. Now, with digital cameras, you can see your photos instantly. I'm still going through my photos - my thought at the time was to take as many as possible in the hopes that some would turn out okay. (Assuming I could get one good photo for every 20 shot, and I wanted 40 good photos, I would need to take 800...) I have an awesome camera now - a gift from Tammy's parents - and it takes photos very quickly. So I ended up with quite a few pictures, some of which even came out nicely.
Disney Kidz aboard the ferry that travels between MK and Fort Wilderness, though none too quickly. I mean the ferry, the kids are actually pretty quick.
So how do you treat VW? I'll likely go through all of my photos, play with the new Shutterfly account I've created and browse for half-price Disney goodies on ebay.
We saw Prince Caspian on opening day - I enjoyed it, although I think I may have enjoyed The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe more. A few notes about the two films:
1. Wardrobe had Tilda Swinton*, who did an amazing job (I thought) as the White Witch. Conversely, Caspian has an animated mouse who is very entertaining. And short.
2. Wardrobe is a better known story, I think, than Caspian. Although all of us die-hard fans have read each of the books several times.
3. Caspian had some intriguing bits with Susan that I think begin to lay some ground work for her character development moving forward. I don't want to write anything that's a spoiler, so for now I'll leave it at that.
4. I have to say that the water and tree computer animation in Caspian is amazing. And Aslan looks so real you don't even think of him as a computer-generated character. Or even a lion. (At least, I didn't. But then again, I was entertained by the mouse and the squirrel.)
If you get a chance definitely go see it. Weekend BO is being described as weak. My theories about that is that Iron Man siphoned off some business because it's a similar demo (fantasy/sci-fi and generally family fare) and because of it's running time (147 minutes although Wardrobe was a similar 143.) I expect that Caspian's worldwide gross will equal or exceed Wardrobe, but we'll see.
Here's an article at CNN about Caspian's box office (complete with an erroneously-titled caption) (see, even the professionals make mistakes!):
*I could write (and probably will, one day) a post or two about the conflict I experience when I judge an actor's performance in a movie against their own personal views and lifestyle. If you support the performance does this mean you are lending support (even tacitly) to the actor's personal views or lifestyle? Ms. Swinton has turned in a number of unusual, if not critically acclaimed, performances and some of her personal views are not those I would share. It terms of acting skill, though, her brief appearance in Caspian had a great deal of power and weight that I thought was missing from the rest of the cast.
Well, except for the mouse. And the squirrel.
Comments welcome.
USA Today has an interesting article on a new Google Earth feature that will let you "walk" around Disney parks in 3D. I've wondered in the past why Disney hasn't done something like this; for example they had webcams in some of the parks years ago but those seem to have vanished. I assumed it was a problem either with liability or controlling their brand (I can't imagine the latter, but who knows.) You can find the article here: It's a small world, thanks to Google Earth. I'm still trying to find the software; I suspect this isn't launched yet. If anyone finds it first let me know.
It's a little after ten o'clock as I write this. I wanted to jot down a few post-trip observations before stepping over and around the post-trip luggage, which seems to have exploded everywhere, and make my way to bed.
The first observation is that I have to write a different book. My current, six page unfinished Disney book was very unhelpful. One of my tips was to have a hot fuge sundae at Ghirardelli's. This is a great tip - if Ghirardelli's isn't closed for refurbishment. Another tip I had was to run to the store that sells the name badges and buy one, have your name inscribed there upon, and walk around with it displayed so everyone can call you by name. That's a great tip - if Disney hasn't stopped selling name tags. (I kid you not.)
The second observation is more of a question. As in, "What time do I go to bed?" I find that every time we go away I end up going to bed at a "decent" hour. So now it's just after ten and I'm exhausted, whereas normally I stay up until two. I suppose over the next week I'll ease into the 2 a.m. rut again, but I always wonder if I should try to stick with a reasonable hour.
Lastly, have you ever noticed that right after you get home you end up needing something at the store and so you drive over but you're still in Highway Warrior Mode and so you find yourself driving 98 miles an hour with both hands clenched on the steering wheel? I mean, that never happens to me - but it probably happens to you, right?
It's 10:21 now - I'm off to think about going to bed now, assuming I can circumnavigate the luggage.
Some people are wondering, "Why did you choose to go to Disney now?" That's a great question - thanks for wondering that!
Of course, the answer is that any time is a good time to go to Disney World. My main criteria for determining when a time is good or not is: Will this take me outside of Pennsylvania? If so, it's a pretty good time and in general passes the "Is this a good time to go to Disney World" test.
But there's actually a bonus reason to go during the time we went: The EPCOT Flower and Garden Festival. We got to see all sorts of flowers and gardens up close - I have many pictures because flowers and gardens are colorful and don't move, so they make great subjects (unlike, say, my kids - which while colorful in their own way tend to move more than flowers, unless you're checking for movement right after I say something like "Clean your room." Then you see very little movement, not unlike a flower.)
Not only are there flowers and gardens to take pictures of of which to take pictures, there are all sorts of weird things made out of extra garden bits. For example, here's a dog we found wandering in China (the EPCOT China, not the real China, as we weren't there) (in the real China) (sorry if this is becoming difficult to keep up with)
As you can see, this dog is not only made of spare garden parts, it is creepy as ALL GET OUT. So that's an example of the kind of bonus you can get at Disney World this time of year.
(I should also note that following this garden bean dog was a sign that read: "DOG: Born in 1922, 1934, 1946, 1958*, 1970, 1982, 1994, 2006. The Dog will never let you down. Born under this sign you are honest, and faithful to those you love. You are plagued by constant worry, a sharp tongue, and a tendency to be a fault finder." Whatever THAT means.)
*Congrats to Steve who was the first to note that the mathematical series above was, ah, flawed. Nice work Steve!
I confess I don't know what that would be (the sound of a sigh caught in a black hole) but I thought the phrase would make a great blog post title. It seems very deep, like the "sound of one hand clapping" until you think about it and realize that it's completely meaningless. I suppose a sigh caught in a black hole would sound like siiiiiighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. There might even be a pfffft! right at the end there when it crosses the event horizon. For more on sighing and black holes and event horizons consult your local wikipedia.
Some of you have wondered why I haven't been posting as regularly as in the past. Some surmised I was in a terrible corn canning accident. Others have suggested that the Japanese Mafia finally caught up with me late one night at Wal-Mart, during an ill-fated Twinkies and Pepsi run. A few inquired about my health, given all of the bionics from poorly waged light saber battles and my diet of Twinkies and Pepsi. All good guesses, of course, but in truth I was on vacation at Disney World for the last six months.*
As proof I offer this photo snapped at EPCOT. It is part of the current Tin Toy exhibit being held in the Japan section of EPCOT, right behind the Japanese Mafia booth - which I carefully circumvented while dressed in my Speed Racer disguise. I think this is a Tin Godzilla, desperately in search of some Tin Japanese Soldiers to stomp on. He had just stomped on the Mach 5, Speed Racer and his box office receipts - but was still hungry.
*Okay, I made that up. I can hardly afford to put gas in my well-made but gas-guzzling SUV let alone vacation at Disney World for six months. But vacation is, after all, just a state of mind.
A mostly-dressed Miley Cyrus, aka "Hannah Montana" Occasionally one of those things happens in pop culture that makes blood shoot out of your eyes because it's awful and completely nonsensical. Granted, these pop culture things almost never rise to the level of a Darfur-like crisis, and don't have the importance of the insane increase in food prices because we think using gasoline is causing more swimming holes for polar bears and so we have to convert FOOD to fuel*. But somehow they still succeed in getting under your skin more quickly and efficiently than, say, our inability to find a truly cross-party qualified statesman (or stateswoman) to run for President.**
Such is the case today when I read that "Hannah Montana" posed semi-topless for Vanity Fair. Not only that, but she looks like she's washed out, anorexic and wrapped in a bed sheet. Of course, pictures can lie and the pop culture audience will probably never know exactly what happened. Was Miley Cyrus to blame? She is, after all, 15, and I don't think I know any 15-year-old billionaires that can make a half-decent decision. Was Billy Ray to blame? He is her father, and an experienced entertainment professional in his own right, dubious acting career aside. Was Vanity Fair to blame? One has to think it was their idea after all. Was Annie Leibovitz to blame? She did take the picture. But then again, she's managed to take other Disney-related photos successfully. Was Disney to blame? It's their billion dollar Hannah Montana empire at stake.
I choose to blame everyone, particularly anyone who would pay $24,000 to see Hannah Montana in concert. I mean, just think of the number of Vanity Fairs you can get for that.
Nauseating NY Times article here
* Did you know that you can get 25% less mileage from a gallon of 85% ethanol blend gas, effectively costing you nearly $100 more a year in gas? Sigh.
** That sentence probably just offended about everyone possible, particularly the grammarians amongst the readers. But keep in mind I'm writing all of this with blood shooting out of my eyes.
*** I wasn't even going to blog tonight but I saw the Drudge article and, well, blood shot out of my eyes.
A Mad Tea Cup, possibly the site of the fracas (© Disney)
I previously blogged about the Mad Tea Cup fracas at the Magic Kingdom here. There's a follow-up now.
Victoria Walker has been charged with battery with a deadly weapon. If she is convicted she could face 15 non-magical years in prison. She declined a plea deal that would have given her only 1 non-magical year in prison, and the trial will go to jury now.
There are a few instructive things here. First, they are calling this incident "line-rage." Is there such a thing as "line-rage?" Of course! Everyone experiences it. But few people flip out and try to pound someone to jelly while waiting to ride on the Mad Tea Cups. (Big Thunder Mountain Railroad, maybe.) Second, there's a new detail that's come to light: Ms. Walker allegedly tried to strangle Ms. Krause with her own lanyard. I had never thought of using a lanyard like this. I just, you know, put pins on them and whatnot. This is a very creative use by Ms. Walker, if true.
Jury selection for the ‘Tea Cup Madness’ trial will begin in April.
Woman Charged With 'Line Rage' Beating at Disney World (Fox News)
 Grandpa, Grandma, Junior, Mom, Dad and Giant Rat Mouse Our kids, who are home-schooled* (sometimes to their dismay), get to read the Wall Street Journal each day. Well, they usually read at least one article from the Wall Street Journal each day. I suggest that they read the financial section because they should be prepared for all of that wealth they will one day inherit from me (pause for laughter). But usually they find some sort of article that they can relate to such as the weather map.
Okay, I made that up, even though the Wall Street Journal has a fine weather section I'm sure. Today they read all about the Year of the Rat, which begins February 7th in the traditional Chinese calendar. This, it turns out, is being used by Disney to market Disneyland Hong Kong to the Chinese. After all, Year of the Rat is extremely close to Year of the Mouse. In fact, if you hold a large, deformed, fat mouse in one hand and a small, svelte, very handsome rat in the other, you would be pressed to tell the difference. (The mouse is the one with the large wallet stuffed with Disney dollars.)
I heard about this article at the end of the day, during my home-school briefing. Sometimes this briefing covers fascinating topics such as IRAs and T-Bills and commodities, but other times it talks about giant multinational corporations and George Clooney. Today was more of the latter, with the discussion of the Year of the Rat and Disney. Now, don't get me wrong - no one loves Disney as much as I do. But sometimes you hear things about your favorite brand that makes you go, "Ugh." Really. I went "Ugh" and it was loud and very hard to miss. Not just because of the Year of the Rat Large Mouse. More because I actually read the entire article.
"This is terrific. It makes me so happy to see the god of wealth here."
That was a quote from Mr. Hao Zhi, a civil servant from Inner Mongolia. After taking a few seconds to get past the fact that I was reading quotes from civil servants in Inner Mongolia, I moved on to see what he was talking about. And yes, Hong Kong Disneyland actually has a character dressed up as the Chinese God of Wealth. Does that seem wrong? It did to me, although I can't quite explain why. I don't remember seeing him in Sleeping Beauty.
The other fascinating thing in the article was an advertising misstep on Disney's part in Asia. Some of their campaigns featured a father, mother and their two children. Of course many Chinese were puzzled by the campaign - because the Chinese government has a one-child policy. (Who IS this other kid that keeps following that family?)
The WSJ article had a link to a new commercial Disney is running - complete with a father, mother, one child and now a set of grandparents. Normally when you watch this sort of thing you would never know that the make-up of the family has any significance. It's a good reminder about advertising in general: very little is left to chance. Watching this commercial now, knowing what I do about the previous campaign and the government policy, I guess it seems a little creepy.
Especially the picture of the floating rat mouse at the dinner table.
What do you think?
(WSJ Article here, but probably requires a subscription)
*Yes I used that as a verb, sorry.
UPDATE: The Orlando Sentinel has the article now.
 Actually we have some people coming over regularly to check on Mysty, who unfortunately will be unable to accompany us to Disney World. She took it well. We all had a family meeting - Mysty was on the floor in the middle.
*Blank stare from Mysty*
"Mysty, we have something to tell you."
*Blank stare from Mysty*
"We're going to Disney World."
*Blank stare from Mysty*
"You can't come."
*Blank stare from Mysty*
So all in all it went much better than I expected. And since Mysty is staying home - and we're having someone check in regularly with her - I don't have to buy expensive Attack Llamas.
As the time draws nigh for our departure the Schaads usually experience Departure Panic. This is the phase of the vacation where the adults get cranky, whiny and begin to panic because there's never enough time to do all of the adult things that you want to do. Even if you start three months in advance, it seems like something always comes up to suck away your time and induce Departure Panic. So far things have gone fairly well, although it's pretty certain that tomorrow morning there will be DP. In fact, I'd go so far as to issue a DP warning for the next nine hours or so.
The weather looks pretty good in Orlando according to AccuWeather - highest high of 84, lowest low of 55 although that's towards day 15. Tomorrow morning's departure weather looks dreary and wet, though thankfully no snow.
 That sounds like a great title for some sort of weather disaster movie or something but no, it's just the Schaad Vacation. Today a cold I've been carrying for just such an emergency suddenly got worse. Then Connor got a migraine and, ah, hurled, and then the cat threw up. All I know for sure is that one of us probably has hairballs.
As we're winding down here on the pre-trip preparation I decided that I would go to Wal-Mart. I would "run in." Have you ever done a "run in?" That's where you think that you can get in and out of the store quickly - because really you only need one or two items and so what could take so long? I needed an antihistimine though. And apparently all of the really good antihistimines are behind the pharmacy counter now, because some kids somewhere decided to buy over the counter antihistimines and grind them into powder and make some kind of illegal drug. Me, I just take the stuff as recommended and end up pretty out of it. Or I slug a few rich chocolate Ovaltines.
So I'm in Wal-Mart and I get the little card that says "Over The Counter Antihistimine That You Can Grind Up Into A Powder And Mix With Your Ovaltine" and take it to the pharmacy, but there was a couple in front of me already doing the same thing. And, as I watched, the couple had to show ID, sign a chart, get fingerprinted and photographed, have a retinal check - and at that point, I just put the card down and left. I don't know that I've ever been that impatient and disgusted with a check out before. I decided it wasn't worth it and got one of the extremely uneffective still-on-the-shelf decongestants and left.
Of course, when I went to check out I picked the aisle with the person who couldn't operate the credit card scanner. She apparently (I am not making this up) had to enter her zipcode for who knows what reason and couldn't do it. I think she was trying to enter the thirty digit zipcode with hyphens and all it wanted was five digits. Quick - can you say your five digit zipcode?
I thought you could. But this woman did look like maybe she had taken too many good antihistimines earlier in the day.
Last day tomorrow - and I still have to dig a protective home moat, stock it with alligators, and feed the attack llamas.
 State College actually saw snow today - we woke up to 1-2" on the ground (I'm sure the snow was "much deeper" at Jesse's, Henry's and Joe Bastardi's house, as always seems the case) and it snowed lightly throughout the day. The sky in the evening was very weird; like a giant ashen blanket - a thick gray color not unlike the color of your dearly departed loved one's remains being deposited at a Disney ride.
I made a comment in a comment on the blog about drinking and blogging. Of course, I was referring to rich chocolate Ovaltine - it's possible that some of you might have thought I was referring to some other type of beverage. I have to say, after the third or fourth glass of rich chocolate Ovaltine I get pretty punchy, and then a little woozy, and then I usually black out and wake up in some downtown restaurant in front of a plate of half-eaten Ham Loaf covered with a delicious ganache.
Alert Reader Michele commented about the commenting system, in that now it seems to have gotten more strict. I did change something recently as a test and neglected to change it back - I believe now you have to leave an email address to comment. I was getting literally hundreds of spam comments that had no email address, and that was an easy fix for that. But, it doesn't allow anonymous commenting, so I may switch it back.
Today we got some more packing and cleaning done in preparation for the trip. The weather is looking good - Henry's Thanksgiving blizzard looks doubtful as the forecast is now "Cloudy, breezy and mild with a chance of rain" and a high of 55. Orlando looks warm, although a cool down is forecasted towards the end of our visit (it's day 15 of the forecast, so I don't know how much stock to put in that.)
I'm watching the news as I type this (and I'm on my second rich chocolate Ovaltine) and I've seen three different drug ads. The first commercial said that the drug was linked to rare fatal side effects. I'm thinking fatal in this instance means that they lost a few customers. The second was for a sleep aid that says that some people took the drug and then went sleep-driving. The third drug said that it (very rarely) caused serious liver complications. All that's enough to make me permanently swear off medicine for vitamins and herbs. And rich chocolate Ovaltine.
 Today was my favorite day - Saturday - because Saturday is the day that I can sleep late. That's a great thing because I love to sleep. It should be noted that while I love to take naps I'm not sure I understand my - and everyone else's - willingness to daily surrender their consciousness.
Five days left. Today I rain-x'ed the car. I wasn't sure how well I did so I used that as an excuse to go to the car wash and spray the car and then test out the windows. I'm proud to report that there was plenty of beading of water. A success!
I discovered something about myself this weekend - I feel really guilty when I go to the deli counter at the grocery store, I feel my presence is just a bother. I mean, who am I to ask the Meat Lords for some turkey? But as I braved the counter for my children today, Connor said that he wanted some chicken breast - chipped. I think the staff behind the counter loves to hear the word "chipped" almost as much as the words "five pounds."
 I guess technically it's five days, since it's after midnight, but I was never very good at math or dates or calendars. I really don't know why we didn't just make 10 months, or each month have 30 days, or something easier to remember. 24 hours of 60 minutes? Just weird.
I made excellent progress on the prep list today. Of course, I had to add a few items in the morning but I've gotten quite a bit checked off. I paid some bills, did some consulting, read some depressing blog posts, and bought some DOVE® Unconditional Chocolate Ice Cream. I'm a big fan of DOVE® chocolate, and the ice cream comes with a layer of silky smooth DOVE® Chocolate ganache. Really, you can add ganache to just about anything and make it better. Except maybe ham loaf.
This is a big weekend for the Schaads and our trip preparation. I should know by Sunday night if things are going well or if we'll have to go sometime next year. The forecast is holding up. It looks like Orlando will be in the upper 70s when we get there. And the temperature for our State College departure is now in the upper 40s, which nixes any snow or ice.
Alert Reader Susan sent this article that tells the tale of a woman scattering what some think are a dead person's ashes - that is, the ashes of a formerly live person who is now no longer here - on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland in California.
Okay, before I get into this I'm going into rant mode so please, if you have weak stomachs, back trouble or a heart condition don't board this ride. What is with the people and the ashes scattering? Do these people request to be scattered prior to dying? Or is this the idea of the relative who has the ashes after the fact? And why are the ashes put in an urn? Why would you want to keep that sort of thing? What if someone is cremated, put in an urn and given to another person, and then that person dies - what happens to the urn? Do they put that up in an estate auction? Do they empty it first? Is there really any use for an urn other than ash-holding? I really don't understand it at all. Cremate me and just put me somewhere where I won't ruin someone's vacation.
Okay, sorry about that. Apparently Disney had to stop the Pirates ride and find out what the woman had dumped (there are cameras in the ride just for this sort of occasion) and she claimed it was baby powder. Why would you want to dump baby powder on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride? That's almost as bizarre as dumping ashes.
But the weirdest part of this whole thing may be that some claim this is a growing trend. Apparently all of the coolest ashes are being dumped in theme parks nowadays. But (okay, rant on again) if you're dumped in a ride like Pirates, and the water is circulated, won't you just end up somewhere else anyway? Wouldn't it be as effective to use a Disney toilet? (rant off) Sorry I just can't help myself.
ABC News is now reporting that Disney claims there are no human remains anywhere, that this really doesn't happen and that everything is fine. Which I would expect them to say, since just thinking about this creeps me out a little.
The article then helpfully states that there are no cameras on "It's A Small World" so now you just KNOW people are going to start doing some weird things in there.
If I see any urns at the park I'll try to get a picture for the blog.
 I missed a post yesterday, which means no one will ever see the sticky 8 I created. Maybe I'll link to it in a future post, so those of you collecting at home will have a full set.
I've been working on a number of consulting projects in addition to the regular weather fare, which has been keeping me up late and interfering with the important things in life like blogging and family. Well, blogging. We have quality family time all of the time, with my family coming up to me and saying things like, "You missed a day," and "What happened to 8?" See, you think I do this for my Google Adsense program (which is up to a whopping $9.43) but actually I do it for the family. The kids think it's actually a treat when I turn on the computer's text to speech function and have it read my blog. And I'd have to agree there's nothing quite so funny as having your computer say, "Golden Delicious Hostess Twinkies." (It does a surprisingly good job too.)
We're starting to make a dent in the list. Teachers have been contacted, special clothes have been purchased, our drugs have arrived from Canada. The special clothes include head-to-toe mosquito proof suits for enjoying the great Floridian Outdoors. The Canadian drugs was a last minute addition: I received an email that said I could purchase valium for a fraction of what it would cost to get it from my doctor legitimately.*
Tomorrow will be day six and yes I have a sticker for that. But, it will also be a Friday, so I've had to add some things to the list. "Get up," "brush teeth," and "eat three square meals" have all been added in the hopes of giving me some momentum. We'll see.
*The Blog Hero Legal Team, also known as "Sven," has asked me to add the following statement: The Blog Hero, Blog Hero, Inc., Blog Hero LLC, Blog Hero Etc., Blog Hero E I E I O, in no way endorses the obtaining of drugs improperly from Canada, or Mexico, or Florida, or really any other place, nor does same endorse Canada, Mexico, the Loonie, the current value of the Loonie against the U.S. Dollar, or the Japanese Mafia. Please consult your doctor about any health care decisions you make. Side effects include drowsiness, fatigue, a tired feeling, a sleepy tired feeling, dry tongue, insomnia, headaches, an annoying burning rash in an unfortunate place, growing extra limbs, liver rot, heat vision, and eventually death.
(This is a duplicate from 37below, as I'm linking to the comments section for those who wish to post/vent...)
Now that the vacation is getting close I've been scrutinizing the forecast for our major stops. We'll bve traveling to Richmond, VA on Thanksgiving Day, and then that Sunday we'll be driving to Savannah and then Monday to Orlando.
The forecast I'm most concerned about is Thanksgiving Day in State College, as Henry keeps alluding to some sort of snow storm and, well, what are the odds that we can sneak out of town without some sort of weather hassle?
Not good, apparently:
State College Forecast
You can see that the forecast taunts me - even the night before looks messy, which was my backup plan. The forecast for Richmond is kind of ugly:
Richmond, VA Forecast
But thankfully Orlando is looking great:
Orlando Forecast
Of course, it's still early - even for the State College forecast, so I'll have to keep checking on it.
You can leave a comment on this post at the other blog, or email me here. Thanks for the Disney tips - feel free to leave/send more!
 Today Cassie informed me that we were in "single digits" meaning that it's nine days until we leave on our trip. I wasn't going to blog tonight because Tammy and I went out for Chinese earlier tonight and now at 11:45pm I feel like someone Tae Kwan Do'ed me in the stomach. And I'm tired. And I'm a little whiny.
BUT, I figured I had to blog because I spent a lot of time developing my number stickers for these posts. Today I washed the all of the moveable parts of the car. Okay, I made that up. But we did get the oil changed and had new gold-plated windshield wipers installed, which you would think wouldn't work very well but based on the cost I have to assume they were gold-plated. We also had the little light replaced in the car that is supposed to turn on when you open the door, sort of like the little light in the refrigerator. It was previously burned out, but now when we open the car door we can see how much mayonnaise is left.
 Have you ever been so unsuccessful with a list you've made that you start putting easy things on the list just to check them off? Today I added "Wake up" and "Eat" and was able to check two things off on my list. Some professional people* who have studied this sort of thing insist that checking things off of a list releases endorphins which are these little tiny chemicals in the brain that stimulate the magical "chocolate zone" which in turn makes you feel like you've just eaten chocolate, which is a happy feeling. However, other professional people who have studied this sort of thing suggest you run twenty miles to release endorphins, so there you go.
I have to confess that I really didn't feel much of anything after I checked off "Wake up" and "Eat." When I checked off "Eat" it was because I had a Golden Delicious Twinkie, which although golden AND delicious has 0% of the RDA of chocolate.
Tomorrow's list includes hand-washing every moveable part of the car, digging my own well for oil and dressing myself. I hope to get at least one task checked off.
*I tried looking for these professional people but all my Google Search would turn up were bloggers, and we know we can't trust anything they say.
Pump price to jump 20 cents next 2-3 weeks: government
(Note: I'm not complaining, because it could always be worse. For example, when you pull into the gas station there could be an attendant there, and as soon as you step out of your car he could spray you with gas, set you on fire, and THEN charge you $4 a gallon.)
Miles to Disney and Back: 2,108
Honda CRV Gas Mileage: 26 mpg Highway
Gas: $264
Disney Memories: Priceless
 Today Alert Shopper Tammy and I spent some time reviewing the lists that I had painstakingly created for our trip to Disney. Tammy pointed out that I had spelled mayonnaise wrong. I replied that mayonnaise is a thick sauce made primarily from vegetable oil and egg yolks. She just looked at me.
After we had decided that I shouldn't be in the kitchen nor should I write lists without a good spell-checker we managed to cross some items off. These were primarily items I had inadvertently duplicated. We also crossed off some things that were so badly spelled neither one of us knew what they were (whether made of egg yolks or otherwise.)
In the midst of our trip preparation Cassie had a Tae Kwan Do tournament. It was held locally as her school served as host for schools around the region. Cassie had signed up for "sparing sparring*," which is Tae Kwan Do-ese for "pounding your foe to putty." Of course, they all have protective gear so that no one really turns to putty. Cassie had to battle those in her age group, and of course they were tall boys. But she exhibited finesse and put all of our keen parenting lessons to work and engaged one of the boys in conversation before the big battle. Cassie made a comment that the second and third place trophies were nice, too, because they were a lot smaller and would fit on a book shelf easier. To which the boy responded, "I have too many trophies for my shelves."
Well that was all Cassie needed to hear. When it came time to spar she was determined to make putty. But in the middle of the fight Cassie took a foot to the head and crumpled to the floor like a jar of mayonnaise. Which turned out to be great news - because she wasn't hurt in any permanent, disfiguring way and any contact to the head automatically disqualifies the offending party. So Cassie ended up winning first place - the very tall trophy - and all because she (wait for it) used her head.
The forecast for our trip is starting to take shape. It looks good, and dry, if not a little cold here in State College. Orlando is looking to be in the high 70s/low 80s, which I think I can put up with.
*Sparing, of course, is the act of sharing something. You know, like "He was sparing as much mayonnaise as he could and still have a tangy delicious sandwich himself." Sigh.)
 In an effort to have as much fun as possible I made two lists for our trip to Disney World. The first list I called "The List of Everything To Do Before Going To Disney World." The second list I called "Everything I Think I Should Pack To Take On Our Trip To Disney World." I discovered two very important things while going through this exercise that I will be including in my forthcoming book, "Everything You Should Do and Pack Before Going To Disney World." My publisher* has suggested that I not publish any of these tips now because it may undercut the sale of my book but that's okay - some things are just too important not to share. Not only that, but you'll be so grateful for these occasional trip to Disney World tips that you'll happily buy the forthcoming book. And copies for all of your friends and neighbors.
The two things that I learned are:
A. I have so much to do that we'll probably be going to Disney World when the kids are out of college,
B. I'm going to have to rent a U-Haul.
I suppose I may have gone overboard with the lists. For example, my list of things to do before I go to Disney World include gratuitous entries such as #34 Hold Mail and #12 Have Someone Feed Cat. At this point you might suggest, "Well, don't just sit there blogging - get to work!" I thought about this response, and decided that when you suggest that I would point out that I'm not just blogging, but I'm watching Saraha on TV. So, really, I'm accomplishing more than just blogging, I'm sort of entertaining myself. Also, it's much more effective to take another look at my list and eliminate some things instead of trying to get all of it done at this point. Items like #119 Pack Clothes and #87 Sleep will have to be eliminated.
I used the Internet to come up with my list of things to pack for Disney World. There are many helpful sites out there with titles like "Useful Site of Things to Pack for Disney World" and "How to Pack For A Trip To Disney World" and "Fill Up That U-Haul Now!" that can give you some good starting points. I discovered that my initial list was wholly inadequate. It consisted of things such as clothes, car keys, comb and Rich Chocolate Ovaltine. I never even thought that I should pack duct tape, nunchakus, my television set, dvd player, a really, really long extension cord, DVDs of all 3,000 episodes of Pokémon, earplugs, a taser, extra batteries and taser coils, and silly string. So in order not to miss anything I compiled all of the lists I found and made one master list. It's 12 pages long.
Did you know that camels can run up to 40 mph in short bursts? I'm still watching Sahara and I saw some camels running after a train so I had to go to Wikipedia and check on that. To me, a camel looks like the sort of animal that would know better than to run up to 40 mph in short bursts. I mean, that takes entirely too much effort.
So with 12 days left I just need to get the house cleaned, balance the checkbook, write two books, blog, cure insomnia, and figure out how my Honda CRV is going to tow four tons of Pokémon.
But I'm cautiously optimistic, and there's still an hour left of Sahara.
*Okay I made that up. Publishers interested in a great book idea can contact me here.
I was going to write a Disney Update and let everyone know that I have not left yet, and that we're planning on leaving around Thanksgiving, but I just saw a commercial for a knife sharpening tool on TV. The knife sharpening tool hawker just said that there's nothing more frustrating than trying to slice a tomato with a dull knife.
I hadn't ever considered that. Mostly because I never need to slice tomatoes because tomatoes are just gross unless they're all mashed up and mixed with carmel coloring to make ketchup. But a hammer works fine for that, and as a bonus doesn't need sharpening or a special hammer sharpening tool.
It's interesting that there hasn't been much of a hurricane season since the Schaads were last in Florida - and were chased out of state by Hurricane Wilma. And now that we're threatening to return Noel is churning off shore. But it seems unlikely that we're run into any tropical trouble at the end of November. I mean, what are the odds?
I do know that if we DO run into a hurricane while in Florida that would be almost as frustrating as trying to slice a tomato with a dull knife.
 Mickey ©, ™, owned, operated and forever and ever belonging to Disney. Inc. Please don't sue me. Well the Schaads are going to Disney one last time. I say "one last time" in a (futile) effort to prepare myself for Disney withdrawal, as our son Connor will be starting High School next year and it's an extremely competitive high school where the weakest of the herd gets thinned by wild pumas, and so taking him out of school to go to Disney - while an extremely noble cause - may be impossible particularly if we don't want him eaten by a puma.
Why not go in summer, you ask? Silly reader! As much as I love Disney, just the thought of being crammed into a sweaty throng thousands strong standing in line for "It's a Small World" is enough to make my skin crawl. No, we're definitely NOT crowd people and it's unlikely we would go during the peak season.
So the next possible trip as a family might be in 2018 when Cassie graduates from College. Hopefully she'll get a job at Disney World and sneak us in for free.
The other two questions you're asking yourself:
1. How on earth did you afford that Carl? Any tips for me?
Yes! Actually, it was quite easy. I did some research and there are these nice people in Romania* who will give you top dollar for internal organs. So I sold one of my livers and we're good to go! Apparently, livers are worth a lot.**
2. Will you be blogging like last time so I can get my Disney Fix vicariously?
This has yet to be decided. Alert Reader and Scrapbooker Tammy is leaning towards the blogging solution so that she'll have a record of the trip. I'm leaning towards selling my other liver before I blog again.* Well, okay I made that up. I may blog as a practice run for my forthcoming book: There and Back Again, A Hobbit's Tale. What? Oh, okay nevermind. Maybe: Confessions of a Mouse Pilgrim: A humorous look at Driving to Disney. It'll be an inexpensive PDF file with interesting photos and mildly amusing prose that you'll want to tell all of your friends, family, chiropractors, grocery clerks and convenience store denizens about.***
In the coming days I'll have some mildly amusing prose as we prepare for departure. Will we get hit by a hurricane even though we're planning to go after all of the hurricanes should be done? OR, will we get hit by a snow storm because we're planning to go after all of the hurricanes should be done? Stay tuned...
*Because my humor is rarely understood I'll just point out now that I know I only have one liver. I was born that way - please don't yell "FREAK!" in my direction it makes the little liverless man inside me sad.
**The Blog Hero legal team (that being Sven) requests that I add this disclaimer: The Blog Hero, Blog Hero Incorporated, Blog Hero Enterprises and the Blog Hero Super League™ in no way endorses the sale of livers, kidneys, hearts, tonsils or any other part of the body for money to go to Disney. Nor do we explicitly or implicitly suggest the sale of homes, pets or spouses, except maybe cats if you can get a good price for them. Cats I mean, not cat livers.
***Yes this was a thinly veiled excuse to use the word "denizen." Sorry.
I meant to write about this when I saw it but I was attacked by a gang of mimes. Disney is getting into the hospital business. This was huge news to me, as I was recovering from my mime attack (my book, "When Mimes Attack," is expected to be in stores early 2008) because I have always contended that hospitals need a huge overhaul. I understand that there are sick and dying people in hospitals, but ever hospital I've ever visited is not conducive to getting well.
Now, construction on a Disney-themed seven-story, 200-bed hospital is beginning in Orlando. The hospital will bear the Disney name, thanks in part (I suppose) to a $10 million dollar gift from Disney. The entire cost of the project is expected to be $35 million, and when complete in 2010 it will replace the current Florida Children's Hospital.
Disney's "imagineers" - those who develop park rides and theming - will be working on the "patient experience."
Article via Forbes
Florida Children's Hospital Release
Talk like a pirate day be upon ye! Abandon all hope, and pass ye the Twinkies and Yoo Hoo!
Two pirates ©Disney.
Today's the sixth anniversary, of course, and even after six years I still get that sick feeling in the pit of my stomach when I think about it. I have images of the second tower hit, the fires, the buildings falling, people jumping out - all indelibly etched in my mind. I generally have a poor memory for those sorts of things but that day was just unbelievable.
The one thing that time has done is to make the event more distant. I think of it less often, in general - only when there's something in the news or it's brought up in conversation of there's an anniversary like today. The memories don't feel less powerful; I just visit them less often.
Which is why I'm grateful for anniversaries. They give you occasion to remember and reflect, things you would otherwise not do because of the tyranny of the urgent, and the passage of time. I'm also grateful for posts like this one from Jim Hill: What was it like to be at Disneyland and/or Walt Disney World six years ago today?. Hill has a number of first-hand accounts of how the park dealt with the attack and what people experienced that day. It's really fascinating to me, as a Disney fan but also as American who collectively experienced the events 9/11. Disney thought that they might be hit next, and so getting everyone out of the parks without causing a panic was critical. It sounds like they did an amazing job.
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