This just came across the wire:*

As you can plainly see, the earthquake that occurred today in the Gulf of Mexico was indeed caused by Godzilla. Furthermore, Godzilla is quite angry and on the move. You should keep in mind that this Godzilla Warning Graphic features the Godzilla Cone of Movement™. While there is a line plotted here to show the most likely path Godzilla will take, people should not focus on the line. Focus on the cone - because even a slight deviation in the movement of Godzilla could result in landfall anywhere within this cone.
Currently the most likely landfall will occur in the St. Pete/Tampa area. Already the combined forces of Homeland Security and FEMA are being marshaled. As such, Governor Jeb Bush has declared a state of emergency and asked that everyone south of Gainesville save themselves and flee to Houston.
People are reminded that this is a dangerous monster. Damage to structures and power lines within the path of Godzilla is extremely likely and will be severe. Please DO NOT TRY TO BE A HERO and ride out the monster. Board up your home, secure your pets and leave the area as soon as possible. States beginning with the letters "I" "K" and "O" are designated safe states and are good places to ride out the monster.
Once Godzilla makes landfall, he's expected to continue north and east until he hits Daytona Beach, where he will pick up a "Life's a Beach" towel and an oval bumper sticker that reads "DB" before he returns to the ocean.
Further bulletins as events warrant.
*Usually Alert Reader Tammy just stopped by and took a look at the map and wanted to know when that happened, and what was going to hit Florida and why there hasn't been anything on the news. I tried to explain about Godzilla and the earthquake and FEMA not wanting anyone to panic, etc., but she just sort of stared at me. So, after a brief phone call with the Blog Hero Legal Team, I've been instructed to add this clarifying disclaimer:
Godzilla™ is a trademark of Japanese entertainment company Toho. Toho is not responsible for any damage or panic that Godzilla™ causes. Any warning information about Godzilla™ that this blog issues is provided "as is" and no warranty, expressed, instant, dehydrated or otherwise, is inferred, interned, chauffeured or bean curd. Thank you.