Today we found out that we're getting a dog. It happened like this. Cassie said she wanted a dog. Okay, that was pretty much it. We, as responsible loving parents promptly "rolled over."

The first step in getting a dog is careful research of breeds, what to expect from each breed, what breed would offer us - as a unique family - the best experience and fit. Of course, we skipped that step. That step involved a lot of reading and books and stuff.

The next step was to decide where to get a dog. One option is a breeder, who somehow makes dogs, mostly out of that stuff you use in quilts, and that bendable wire and a whole lot of tape. However, that stuff you use in quilts apparently costs billions of dollars because it can only be harvested under a full moon by yak herders in the mountains of Nepal, and yak herders have recently unionized and that's affected prices. So a breeder dog costs just shy of $28,000.

So the next step after that was to look at rescued dogs. This is actually what we wanted to do, because if we can give a rescued dog a good home then we've accomplished two things: we've given a rescued dog a good home, and those yak herders don't get another dime of my hard earned money.

Cassie began browsing for a dog via Petfinder (using all of the carefully amassed data in step one) and found a candidate. However, I contacted the owner and it had just been given to someone in Nepal. The second dog Cassie found is named "Midnight." Instantly this seemed promising. There were no dogs listed like "Misery," "Despair," or "Anguish," so it was likely we would have to settle for something like "Midnight."

I contacted the owner and that set off an application process so thorough it makes me feel guilty no one questioned me more when I had live human children. I had to provide references. I had to give my birth date. I have to divulge my work place and profession. I had to share what vet we use. After the initial application, we were told the dog was being removed from the Internet because of all of the applications, but that we would be considered.

In the meantime Cassie had become the model child. Cleaning up the house, checking out dog books from the library, watching dog shows on TV - all in an attempt to learn more and roll her parents. So far her diabolical plan was working. The next step in the application process - and no I am not making this up - was to take pictures of the inside and outside of our house. At this point I passed the application process on to Alert Photographer Tammy, as there was no way I was going to photograph the interior of my house for a pet who likely wouldn't appreciate the photos I'd take anyway. I said I would support her continuing the process (this involved me standing some distance away, putting my fingers in my ears, waving my hands while making a pffffffttttttttttt! sound with my tongue) but that I wasn't going to steer it. She took the pictures and sent them off. We were hopeful that should this be a colossal mistake that God in His infinite mercy would destroy our block with a meteor.

Tammy received a response right away, and we were asked if we had a 12-year-old daughter named Cassandra, and if she had been emailing anyone at the rescue. Head smacking keyboard moment. We said yes, and if she had been a bother we apologized. She received a response to that, saying that we could have Midnight because the owner of the rescue, whom Cassie had been writing, was so impressed with her questions and her maturity.

So, with the email up on Alert Dog Acquirer Tammy's computer screen, I called Cassie into the room and asked her in a stern voice if she had been emailing about Midnight. She nervously said, "Yes, why?" Tammy said "You better read that email young lady." Trembling she sat down and read. Then she shouted and jumped up and down, laughed, screamed and sobbed all in about 60 seconds.

We will likely visit Midnight this weekend (Cassie turns 13 on Friday) and if everything seems to click we will bring him home. He's a lab/shepherd mix, and we're told that he will grow to be 18' tall and eat a buick's weight in food each day.

In a pinch he'll also be good at herding yak.

Posted by Carl at 5:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Remember to spread a little cheer today, even if it's just an e-card from Hallmark. Just do it! :)

Posted by Carl at 10:03 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I wanted to lead by example and let everyone know that I made my online purchase for someone else just now. I sent a Ghirardelli chocolate gift basket, quite possibly the best chocolate in the world - a chocolate so good it was probably given to us by Aliens millennia ago. The person(s) I sent it to I have never met, but we've chatted via email over common web design interests. I'll let you know what, if any, reaction I get.

So, there you go. It's pretty easy,,,and I feel really good about it. I've seen Cassie cheer up maybe hundreds of Disney Cast Members merely by engaging them, asking for their autograph and giving them a few miinutes, at least, to feel like a star. It's a great thing to watch. And while I am unlikely to ask the local townsfolk for their autographs, I don't think I'm ready to give up that feeling of seeing someone hit with "Disney Magic" and so I'm going to explore similar options. A gift-giving-just-because holiday seems like a good start.

Any other suggestions would be warmly welcome! Maybe it would make a good book.

Posted by Carl at 1:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was going to pick out a day to observe NOSFSED National Online Shopping For Someone Else Day but then I realized that an online shopping day should be on a day (night) when not much else is going on. So I decided to pick the third Wednesday in May.

The basic idea of National Online Shopping For Someone Else Day is to do something totally random and unexpected and cool for someone else. This could be for someone you know well, like a parent or sibling or co-worker, or it could be for someone you don't know as well, like your boss or local convenience store clerk or cheese merchant, or it could be for someone you don't know at all such as, well, I can't say because it would be someone you don't know at all.

That's basically it. Some of you will want even more details, so I've put together a small FAQ below:

1. Do I HAVE to shop online?
Well, no, I suppose not I won't be checking or anything. But you should shop online for a few years at least to help out the cause. We're just getting started here.

2. Okay, well who do you suggest I send something to?
That's a great question even if it ended in a preposition. I think you already know the answer. In fact, I bet as soon as you read the first few sentences here someone's name popped into your head.

3. No, really, no one popped in there.
That's not actually a question, but if you're still looking for ideas think of someone who might need a pick-me-up. You can even do this anonymously if you'd like, although since it's online shopping you would probably have to send the gift to yourself and then give it to the person in a secret, anonymous, ninja-like way.

4. How much do I have to spend?
I wasn't even going to address this until you brought it up. The point here is to spread a little unexpected joy. It's entirely up to you to decide how much you want to spend. You don't have to send something large to someone to brighten their day and make them feel special.

5. Okay, I think I know someone who I'd like to get something for. Where should I shop?
Where you choose to shop is entirely your choice. I personally love Amazon, iTunes, 1-800-Flowers, and Harry & David. Oh, and of course Disney and Ghirardelli.

I think that about wraps it up. If you have any other questions email me at nosfsed@carlschaad.com. Media inquiries can be made at mediainquiries@carlschaad.com. If you participate let me know how it goes. And have fun out there!

Note: Blog Hero, Blog Hero Enterprises, Blog Hero LLC, Inc., and Blog Hero's legal team (Sven) receive no kickbacks from Amazon, iTunes or any of the other merchants mentioned in today's post. But if they would like to send kickbacks that would be more than acceptable. Also note that while participating in the National Online Shopping For Someone Else Day is encouraged, the Blog Hero respectively requests that you not purchase gifts for the Blog Hero, or Sven, or anyone on the enormous Blog Hero staff. Sven says he has enough chocolate to last at least until Thanksgiving and he just got back from Disney.

Posted by Carl at 10:13 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Let's hope not.

(Thanks to Alert Reader Wade for the tip!)

Posted by Carl at 11:23 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Alert Reader Nick alerted me to this awesome Christmas gift/stocking stuffer. Presenting, the LEGO® Ice Brick Tray:

I didn't think there was anything in the world that could make a Pepsi® even more exciting - but there you have it. I may have to order some or leave tips for the family somewhere. At $8 it's a pretty reasonable gift, particularly for the LEGO® lover in your family.

And finally, some questions about stockings: Do you "do" stockings, and if so - two important follow-up questions. Should the gifts in a stocking be wrapped, and when do you open the stockings? I'm trying to get a government grant for this study, so your involvement is appreciated!

Posted by Carl at 9:41 AM | Permalink | Comments (22)

From the makers of the Play-Doh cologne, comes Crayon cologne, calming lotion and other goodies. You can purchase your birthday and anniversary gifts here guys.* Found via Advertising Lab.

*Blog Hero is in no way responsible for any outcomes resulting in following Blog Hero purchasing recommendations. Purchasing recommendations are for entertainment value only. Blog Hero further recommends that all purchasing recommendations only be followed as suggested if a suitable back up gift is also purchased, that being made of platinum or diamonds. Thank you.

Posted by Carl at 10:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

For those of you who really want to go "out of this world" and can't be bothered with something mundane like adopting a lemur, there's always lunar real estate.

Lunar real estate?" you ask. "Wasn't that already bought up by the owners of Google and Donald Trump?" Well, fortunately I'm breaking the lunar real estate story early enough so that you can get in on the ground floor.

Moon Shop, coincidentally found at MoonShop.com, is offering one acre parcels of land on the moon for only $19.95. Well, plus $1.51 lunar tax. Of course, this begs the question: Who is collecting this lunar tax? A check of the current lunar map (at right) should answer this quickly enough: aliens who have already begun colonizing the moon as a forward base for destruction of the Earth via laser-beam-controlled hurricanes are obviously collecting taxes from their neighbors.

I'm sure you've already visited MoonShop.com to check it all out, but in the unlikely event that you have stuck with me this long I'll summarize some of the more interesting points you'll find on the site:

1. This is not a joke
2. This is the cheapest real estate in the universe
3. Other companies selling lunar property are doing so without authority, soliciting your money for unauthorized products.
4. This is no joke.
5. You can't buy land on the other side of the moon.
6. "We have plans to move to the Moon soon."
7. This is probably not a joke.

Good luck!

Appropriate Gift Substitution: Mini Moon Tap Light

Posted by Carl at 11:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Incidentally, do you say "koo-pon" or "que-pon"? I won't bias anyone here who wants to weigh in and will let you know what the correct answer is in a day or two.

Here's the second of my near-endless supply of Christmas coupons:

I've made the Midnight Run to the local grocery store many times, but even if I'm willing to do so Alert Reader Tammy still enjoys having the coupon. I think it's sort of a Get-Out-of-Guilt Free card. Normally it isn't used on bread or milk because - I mean - who really needs that at midnight? But Häagan-Dazs or People magazine? That's gold.

(Sorry, but the coupon isn't designed to include certain hygiene products. Some things are just way beyond the call of duty. Of course, you can scratch that part out if you're feeling particularly bold.)

Posted by Carl at 10:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This is the first in what I hope will be a series of posts about unusual gift ideas. Ideally, this series will number more than two, but right now that's how many unusual gift ideas I have. So, I guess I'm saying that you probably shouldn't wait for me to give you gift ideas.

The World Wildlife Fund (or WWF, not to be confused with the WWE) has a number of great animals that you can sponsor for as little as $25*.

While there are more animals for adoption than I can mention here, (I really though long and hard about "Tree Frog," "Dugong," "Clown Fish" and everyone's favorite, "Blue Footed Booby") I wanted to pay particular attention to the Polar Bear. The reason I wanted to do this is because Polar Bear is listed first. But another, equally good reason is because the Polar Bear is getting hit hard by global warming.

Many of you might not know that global warming is causing the Arctic ice cap to melt earlier and freeze later each year. This is a huge hardship, as it causes the Polar Bear to have to tread water longer each year, which is tiring. It also plays havoc with cable reception and Thursday night poker.

You will receive, depending on your adoption level, a photo of your adopted Polar Bear**, a certificate of adoption, a stuffed version of your Polar Bear***, and at the $30,000 level monthly letters from your Polar Bear****.

This is sure to please any hard-to-buy-for person on your shopping list!

*Each adoption is symbolic and your donation will be used to fight threats like habitat loss and poaching faced by critically endangered species and to support WWF's worldwide conservation efforts. Your gift is fully tax deductible to the extent of the law. No shoes, no shirt - no service.

****Actual letters written by a WWF intern. Your Polar Bear is too busy treading water to write.

Appropriate Gift Substitution: Ugly Doll Jeero Keychain

Posted by Carl at 9:42 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)