Here's the alternative to the earlier animal picture, the earlier animal being a cat which, as almost all of you know, is usually brain-damaged. They don't come that way - it sort of accumulates as they grow. There may be something in the cat food that causes this. I've noticed too that with aging comes SDS - Severe Disdain Syndrome - where the cat will eventually be unable to do anything but stare at you as though you were something unimportant, like a human being.

Posted by Carl at 11:27 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sorry, I had to blog about something different, and this was the most different thing I could come up with. I know cats are mostly brain-damaged, but they are cute. When they're small like that. Bonus points if you said "Awwwww" out loud. I'll try to post something for the dog lovers out there a little later (you know who you are.)

Feel like venting? Feel free to comment "Dog" or "Cat" in the comments section

Or if you prefer to laugh at your hapless host, you can try these oldies but goodies:
• Carl's Catastrophic Calamity Chart (pdf)
• Club Quarters Review
• Dental Day Part 1 | Part 2
• Schaads in Richmond Part 1 | Part 2
• All About Clover Mites
• Never Nod at an Old Gypsy Woman
• Ancient Venezuelan Mower Curse

Posted by Carl at 5:49 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Alert Reader Angela sent this photo in light of my story last night about Alert Skunk Driver-Over Tammy and her Honda Stink RV. The caption she sent with the photo was "Daddy, look at the kittens!" I'm not sure if this is a family event or one of those apocryphal web stories that goes 'round and 'round. I LOL'ed though. I hope the parents have (had) stocked up on Tomato Soup.

Posted by Carl at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

At first, I thought scientists in Japan had caught a rare prehistoric goblin. This would have finally answered the centuries old questions of "Are there prehistoric goblins?" and "Do they live in Japan?" and "Are they hoarding dwarven gold and artificially manipulating the price of gold on international precious metal markets?" I pictured a media feeding frenzy, not unlike the one that recently occurred with Anna Nicole Smith, where the goblin would appear on Larry King Live, and Hannity and Colmes, and Nancy Grace with a little caption at the bottom the reads "Goblin Gold: Will the dwarves sue?"

It turns out, however, that the title actually read: Rare "Prehistoric" Goblin Shark Caught in Japan. Not only that, but the goblin shark did not have any dwarven gold, nor did it live long enough to appear on Larry King's show.

Posted by Carl at 11:12 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Some excerpts:

7. Awkward pet walking sessions around the neighborhood
4. "Has anyone seen 'Fluffy?' "
1. Getting choked to death and dragged into its cage.

So in review a quick question which may or may not appear on the final: Do Boa Constrictors make good pets?

Posted by Carl at 9:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Blog Quiz: The above picture shows:

A. A set of Dental Tools
B. A Leprechaun standing next to a pot full of Golden Delicious Twinkies
C. A cat's paw reaching under the bathroom door

If you guessed "C" you are correct. If you guess A or B I'll need to have a word with you later.

The other night I was up late, as I often am. It was around 1:30 a.m., I think, and I was downstairs making a triple-decker PBJ sandwich, since everyone else was finally asleep. Before I finished the sandwich construction I needed to use the, ah, facilities. So there I was, more or less brain dead (all useful brain activity ceases around 8 p.m. or so,) attending to business, when all of a sudden this cat paw reaches under the door and flails about, looking for a foot to grab. (What? Of course I didn't scream like a little girl, stop that.) Although I managed to not scream like a little girl (really) I was quite startled. Some things you just don't expect, no matter how ninja-like your reflexes might be. Well of course it was our kitten, Mysty, who I'm convinced spends all day plotting different ways to attack me. Sort of the feline version of Cato in the Pink Panther movies.

Getting out of the bathroom was actually a challenge, because I didn't want to just open the door and squish the cat. Well okay I thought about that but the other family members probably would have been upset.

This has happened at least two more times since that night. So I took a camera in the bathroom tonight and just waited for the attack. And, sure enough, she took the bait. I think she was a little miffed that I caught her in the act and now have photographic proof, because a little later I saw her reading "The Way Of The Ninja: Secret Techniques."

Posted by Carl at 12:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (4)