I confess I don't know what that would be (the sound of a sigh caught in a black hole) but I thought the phrase would make a great blog post title. It seems very deep, like the "sound of one hand clapping" until you think about it and realize that it's completely meaningless. I suppose a sigh caught in a black hole would sound like siiiiiighhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. There might even be a pfffft! right at the end there when it crosses the event horizon. For more on sighing and black holes and event horizons consult your local wikipedia.

Some of you have wondered why I haven't been posting as regularly as in the past. Some surmised I was in a terrible corn canning accident. Others have suggested that the Japanese Mafia finally caught up with me late one night at Wal-Mart, during an ill-fated Twinkies and Pepsi run. A few inquired about my health, given all of the bionics from poorly waged light saber battles and my diet of Twinkies and Pepsi. All good guesses, of course, but in truth I was on vacation at Disney World for the last six months.*

As proof I offer this photo snapped at EPCOT. It is part of the current Tin Toy exhibit being held in the Japan section of EPCOT, right behind the Japanese Mafia booth - which I carefully circumvented while dressed in my Speed Racer disguise. I think this is a Tin Godzilla, desperately in search of some Tin Japanese Soldiers to stomp on. He had just stomped on the Mach 5, Speed Racer and his box office receipts - but was still hungry.

*Okay, I made that up. I can hardly afford to put gas in my well-made but gas-guzzling SUV let alone vacation at Disney World for six months. But vacation is, after all, just a state of mind.

Posted by Carl at 10:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (2)

Cassie had a Tae Kwan Do exhibition today at a baseball game. Well, actually, before the baseball game. The event was at "Medlar Field at Lubrano Park" which sounds to me like some sort of naming compromise, as in the Medlars and the Lubranos both help build the park. But really, I have no idea and haven't looked into it.

The park and the field are really beautiful. MFaLP is home to the State College Spikes, which at first might sound like some sort of ninja weapon but actually refers to a deer or a moose or something. You can find their site here. Their mascot is "Ike the Spike" who in addition to being a deer or a moose or something is also a third degree black belt and master of the katana.

Many of Cassie's TKD classmates were on hand for a special demonstration of TKD forms, battling, catapult usage, walking on coals and breaking boards with one's head. Cassie, having inherited a good bit of common sense from the Schaad side of the family (recessive trait) decided to volunteer for board breaking with the elbow. She did marvelously - the board had little chance really - and the crowd at the Spikes' game was very supportive, especially Ike who waved his katana in a sort of moose-like salute.

The weather was gorgeous, and Carl managed to snap a few pictures that accidentally came out okay.

Posted by Carl at 9:25 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I thought an interesting news photo quiz would be to pull a photo out of an article and then see if you can guess what the original article was about. Today we have this following:

What subject do you think this photo is being used to illustrate? Poverty? Hunger? Weather Damage? AIDS?

Click here for the answer.

Posted by Carl at 3:31 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Alert Readers Jane and Joe sent this photo from the BBC, which you can find in their In Pictures section as of this writing under the section called "The Big Picture:"

Their caption reads: A young Highland cow covered in Snow at Carronbridge near Denny in Scotland after heavy snow fall. Photo: Andrew Milligan/PA

I think a better caption is simply, "Mmmmmmmm, Snow" which is something I haven't been able to say yet because of a total and complete lack of a first eatable snowfall.*

*Blog Hero cautions all readers that the Blog Hero is not suggesting you eat snow, and is not responsible for any mishap that may occur to you if you do eat snow. Please, eat snow responsibly. Do not eat yellow snow, and do not eat snow that is not white, or well you know light gray. Do not eat snow with little sticks or rocks in it, or mulch unless you can pick out most of the big pieces. Do not eat snow given to you by friends, no matter how well-meaning because really you don't know where that snow came from. Thank you.

Blog Hero says "eatable" even though everyone laughs when he does that. Actually, everyone laughs usually no matter what Blog Hero says. Hmm.

Posted by Carl at 11:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I don't usually write about celebrities or their travails, but I find this interesting because of the graphic design angle. There's a bit of (digital) hay being made of a photo of Katie Couric that was altered to make her appear a bit slimmer. TVNewser, a media blog, broke the story via an Alert Reader tip, and it has made the rounds. Here are the photos in question:

I laid the new photo on top of the old to give you an idea of what was "trimmed," although it's hard to see the face:

The curious thing about this story is that it's been blamed on attributed to the CBS press department. According to the NY Post, a CBS spokesman said:

"The picture was retouched without the knowledge of Ms. Couric or CBS News management."

The Washington Post reports that Dana McClintock, CBS spokesman, said this:

"Watch! magazine retouched (the photo) without the knowledge of Ms. Couric or CBS News management."

This article from SFGate.com notes:

Gil Schwartz, executive vice president of communications for CBS Corp., said Wednesday in a phone interview the photo alteration was done by someone in the CBS photo department who "got a little zealous."

I've done some work with Photoshop. I've even touched up a few photos in the past (mostly removing U.F.O.s from pictures on behalf of the government) and while I'm the first person to admit I'm not very good at it, this sort of work is very time consuming. (Just look again at the two photos - her waistline and face. This is great work!) If I was working in the CBS photo department/press department, and a photo came down the pike of Ms. Couric, I probably would not volunteer to alter it so drastically. I'd likely have ten other things that need to get done yesterday. But if CBS is to be believed, someone got the photo, started messing with the contrast and just went wild. Seems unlikely to me.

I do feel a little badly for Ms. Couric; can you imagine the stress and weight (sorry, no pun intended) of taking this new anchoring job, only to discover that your employer thinks you need to be "photoshopped" because you don't look a certain way? That's tough.

Posted by Carl at 11:07 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Thanks to everyone who decided not to steal our stuff while we were away. Of course, now half of you are thinking, "D'oh! We could have stolen his stuff!" Well - probably, although you would have ran into our high tech security system, which (in case you want to steal our stuff next time) involves:

1. Locking all of the doors,
2. Leaving all of the lights on for the entire trip, particularly the light in Connor's closet which is never, EVER off unless it has burned out from being on 24/7,
3. The giant swinging guillotine-like blades on the other side of every door and window,
4. Our cat.

So don't get any ideas next time I publicly advertise I'll be out of town. Who knows, I may do so again in the near future and hide in the bushes, just to see what happens.

The only reason I'm writing this after being on the road for 11 hours is that the likelihood that I'll do any sort of post "vacation" wrap-up diminishes rapidly after said "vacation" is concluded. (Remember to make those little quote marks with your fingers while reading this aloud to friends, family, pets and your dentist.) In fact, the likelihood diminishes to exactly zero after about 12 hours. So as public service I'm typing away even though my brain fell out of my head somewhere around Winchester and my right foot is still trying to brake and accelerate. Incidentally, if anyone driving along 81 sees my brain hitchhiking do NOT give it a ride. It will probably be surly and keep yelling, to no one in particular, "NO we are NOT THERE YET!"

First, the recap: We decided to take a "vacation" and drive to Richmond, Virginia, to see Alert Reader Tammy's parents, a.k.a. "the Grand Parents", for four days - we left State College Thursday, July 13 and left Richmond Sunday, July 16. I suppose I should explain that I put vacation in quotes because really the only true vacation is going to Disney World where they wait on you hand and foot, albeit for huge sums of money. Anything less is really a different form of work, not a vacation, although even driving to Disney World with the promise of being waited on hand and foot is work until around the Florida State Line at which point your brain has melted and your fists are glued to the steering wheel and you're just muttering over and over "I WILL get to the happy place I WILL get to the happy place I WILL..."

The drive down was uneventful. Okay, I made that up. On the way down we stopped at the Winchester-Frederick County tourism hut to get some brochures, because we had no idea what we were going to do in Virginia. Well, we had a good idea what we were going to do in Richmond, but we thought there might (MIGHT) be an opportunity for some spontaneity on Sunday which would help me out in my course so we thought we would make some spontaneity plans. Of course, as soon as I saw the brochures I seized up and was overcome with Brochure Madness and took about 40. The amount of time needed to do everything that I had a brochure for was just under three complete lifetimes.

As if experiencing Brochure Madness wasn't enough, outside the tourism hut was a giant pineapple! I made the kids get in front of it for a picture, and this is the sort of cooperation I get from my son:

He wanted me to tell you that "the sun was in his eyes" but yes, you guessed it, he was mortified that his Dad made him stand next to a giant pineapple. And speaking of giant pineapples, I took this photo of the plaque:

The left side is what the plaque actually looked like; the right side is my "enhancement" so that you can read it. I guess it washed out over time. So. Not only was this a giant pineapple - it was the welcome pineapple! How cool is that? (Pause for oohs and aahs.) I did a quick web search, and apparently this giant welcoming pineapple was one of a series.

We arrived in Richmond safe and sound and spent some time catching up with the Grand Parents. We ended up retiring early at 10. I slept like a rock from 10 p.m. to 10 a.m. I haven't slept 12 hours in ages, outside of being sick/near death/watching the Pride and Prejudice Marathon with Alert Reader Tammy. (Okay, I made that up; I can only watch P&P in three minute segments.)

The next day (which was Friday, for those who are lost already) was spent in downtown Richmond at the Museum of the Confederacy, alternately known as the "Museum In Richmond You'll Never Find by Yourself" and the "Museum of the Side that Didn't Do Quite as Well as those Damned Yankees." Before I launch into a completely inadequate description of the MotC, and other historical sites, I should confess up front that I am not a historical type person. I like history, it's very nice and I'd be happy to buy it a cappuccino if I ran into it in a Barnes & Noble, but I wouldn't say we're really great friends. (For example, I wouldn't buy history a giant chocolate chip cookie with the cappuccino, nor would I let history borrow my B&N discount card.) I like archaeology, and old stuff that people dig up, but once it's cleaned up and put behind glass...I dunno. So I was a little outside of my comfort zone with the museum thing. But I went in with an open mind.

The museum was actually very interesting. It consisted of three floors and a tour of the nearby "White House of the Confederacy." (More on that in a minute.) Most of the exhibits were artifacts from the period. These fell loosely into three categories: Flags, Things to Kill People With, and Other Stuff. The photo above is one of the items from the "Flags" category. You can find a super-large-high-res-my-webhost-will-hate-me version here. A lot of the exhibits still appealed to the wanna be archaeologist in me (although I suppose many of these items were not "dug up" in that sense.)

This item was from the "Other Stuff" category. Okay I made that up, this came from the "Things to Kill People With" category. There were a lot of those sorts of things.

After looking at a lot of Things to Kill People With we went on a guided tour of the "White House of the Confederacy." (I know, your fingers are getting tired but please, keep making those quote marks. It really does make a difference.) What's the "White House of the Confederacy"? Great question! I would show you, being a visual person, but I was not allowed to take any pictures. At the beginning of the tour the Tour Master looked at me square in the eye and said, "No pictures of the White House of the Confederacy!" He even drew his sword as if to drive home the point.

Ah, you know what I mean.

So I don't have any pictures. But, "White House of the Confederacy" is a "meticulously restored neoclassical masterpiece that, in terms of quality, historical associations and authenticity, probably is second only to Mount Vernon among restorations of historic American dwellings." (At least, according to the Washington Post.) It was the home of President Jefferson Davis and his family during the war, as well as the military and political heart of the Confederacy. As far as meticulously restored neoclassical masterpieces go, the WHotC was top notch. I learned a number of things I hadn't known. For example, did you know that the Confederacy had a President? I didn't know that. I thought he was a Duke or Earl or something. We learned a great deal about his family, the history of the house, and about the artifacts that currently reside there. The only unfortunate thing was this clown who was juggling flaming batons in the reading room. I really wanted to take a picture of the conflagration but my camera had been confiscated by a sword-weilding Tour Master.

That was Friday. Saturday we spent traveling to Jamestown, and from there Yorktown.

Jamestown was almost exactly like Disney World except that it was even hotter and more humid. And it was smaller, and dustier, and we never once saw animals in costume. And it wasn't about magical fantasy worlds but more like Virginia in 1607. But other than that it was very similar.

Although I never checked, the AccuWeather.com RealFeel Temperature during our tour of Jamestown was probably... 491. I know I joke about the South being sticky, but the humidity Saturday was "swamp-like." (Keep working those quote fingers, everyone's counting on you.) Jamestown consisted of indoor exhibits, a 15 minute film on Jamestown (the 1607 settlement, not the place we were at - try to keep up) and a re-creation of what life was like back in 1607.

I would have taken some photos of the indoor exhibits at Jamestown, but photographs were prohibited. It was funny, too, because one of the last exhibits was a Virginia quarter (you know, the "State Quarter" series - you probably have one in your pocket right now) and I thought "Man this is a blog post waiting to happen" and would have taken a picture if I didn't think some irate Tour Master would have run me through with a saber had I tried. The history here was a bit more compelling, if only because it was older history. In fact, the settlement is coming up on its 400th anniversary in 2007, and many exhibits were gone as part of the big Fiesta they're planning. (This was unfortunate timing, and nothing I would hold against them.) I would have taken pictures of the missing artifacts, had I not been concerned that an insane Tour Master would have gutted me with his cutlass just then.

The film was interesting; the settlers went through some very difficult times what with the famine, indians and lack of plumbing. The film set up the rest of the experience well - as we toured the indian huts, fort and ships we had a better sense of how they fit into the larger Jamestown picture.

Our tour included re-creations of the Susan Constant, Godspeed and Discovery, the three ships that brought the colonists to Virginia. This was a huge score for two kids who had just seen "Pirates of the Caribbean" a week ago and thoroughly enjoyed it. I hadn't even considered that until the sails came into view over the trees. It was one of those moments that happen rarely - a chance to connect pop culture and history in a meaningful way. The last time that happened to me I was playing Rock, Paper, Scissors with Twinkie the Kid at that Apple Festival in Denver. But that, as they say, is another story.

After Jamestown we visited Yorktown. Yorktown was the site of a pivotal battle in the Revolutionary War that culminated in the surrender of the British to American and French forces under George Washington. So here we were fast-forwarding from around 1607 to 1781. Yorktown consisted of an indoor exhibition hall, an 18 minute film and an outdoor re-creation of the life and times of that period. I know you will not believe this (and I am NOT making this up) but photography was not permitted indoors. That's too bad, because they had a number of Flags and Things to Kill People With that I wanted to take a picture of but I was scared some crazy Tour Master would disembowel me with his scimitar should I even attempt it.

The exhibits were very interesting, including a series that told the story of salvage operations on some of the sunken ships involved in the Battle of Yorktown. That appealed to the frustrated archaeologist in me, and I thoroughly enjoyed those. The film was also great, and starred James Earl Jones as "General Washington", Adam Sandler as "French Lieutenant #1" and Steven Seagal as "Private Mike", the soldier who has to defeat 40 British soldiers with nothing more than a bugle and a deck of playing cards.

We toured the outdoor area (which you can take pictures of, if you're competent with a camera unlike a blogger I know) and heard a fascinating story told by a fellow who played the part of a field doctor. Most of the story is too gruesome to tell here (this IS a family blog, after all) but he did relate some stories that sounded exactly like my dental tales. In fact, some of these tools below can be found at my dentist's office. Can you identify them?

Here ends Part 1 of "Schaads in Richmond". Part 2, which will probably be published tomorrow if Carl can get out of bed, will include the answers to these startling questions:

And get at least one more limited edition, rare, downloadable Schaadpaper for your computer. How does a family cram all of this into four days? Find out tomorrow!

Posted by Carl at 1:32 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

Kathleen Connally is the photographer behind the photoblog "A Walk Through Durham Township." I came across her site about half-a-year ago, I'd say. I was blown away then (and more than a little envious) and have come back occasionally. If you haven't see her photography please do take a look. Durham Township is located in Bucks County, in eastern Pennsylvania. She has a number of flood photos on her site that are amazing. In particular, take a look at this photo during the flooding and this photo of what the same area looks like normally.

Check out her "best pictures" page as well. If you feel so inclined, sign her guestbook. And enjoy!

Posted by Carl at 12:35 PM | Permalink | Comments (3)

I wanted to update everyone on Operation: WeatherCoup. It appears that I've run into a small snag as my funding has suddenly dried up. ("You bought WHAT?!?") I'm sure this is only a temporary setback, and I should be back on track recruiting the finest LEGO® Warriors available for my office coup any day now. At the moment I'm forced to build soldiers out of spare parts. Above you'll find the Sith Lord of Pizza, Darth Deep Dish. If the saber doesn't finish you, his pepperoni and anchovies definitely will...

Posted by Carl at 12:22 AM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I'm not sure why I chose that title. When I received the photo below from Alert Reader Jeff that phrase just popped in there. And really, since I know absolutely nothing about fish, I suppose that could be tuna even though it looks like a shark of some sort.

Jeff explained that he hooked "Monty" about eight miles offshore from Sanibel Island. He's 6' 7" long and weighed around 200 lbs. (The fish, not Jeff.) He fought for an hour and a half and towed them over two miles before he got in the boat. Not bad - I'm sure he made all of the other tuna proud.

On a somewhat related note, I've been to Sanibel before - absolutely gorgeous, and the shelling was awesome. It was, however, the site of the Great Schaad Burning, a story that will be told anytime Alert Reader Tammy, who may or may not be my wife, is within earshot of someone talking about sunscreen lotion, tanning, sun burn, the sun or being outside. I'll, um, save it for later.

Sanibel and Capitva Islands | Flash Earth Shot

Posted by Carl at 10:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

I really need to get out more. Maybe not to Mt. Rainier, the Grand Canyon or Yellowstone, but somewhere farther away than Wal-Mart.

Alert Reader Carol sent in these amazing photos of Yellowstone. About the second photo, below, she says:

We also had the privilege of seeing a newborn baby bison -- probably born Sat. morning. The baby was lying there when we went by the first time then was standing up a few hours later when we drove by again.

Go ahead, you can say it. Awwww.

Posted by Carl at 9:07 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Alert Reader and Hiker Marty sent in this picture of the Grand Canyon. You guys are out of control with the photos - thanks! I have a great view of a bank from my house. And there's a nice convenience store down the street.

Marty reports that it took 7 hours to hike down the canyon, and 11 to go back up...but down was harder.

Posted by Carl at 9:05 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

That's Cat Picture. Here's the Little Monster trying to look all cute and defenseless:

A little later in the evening she was running through the house at full gallop, looking for something to terrorize. Usually something without shoes and socks.

Posted by Carl at 10:54 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

A huge thank you and kudos to Alert Reader Daniel who sent me this gorgeous shot of Mount Rainier recently:

You can learn more about Mount Rainier here at Wikipedia. And here's a nice shot from space courtesy Google Maps and Flash Earth (requires Flash.)

Posted by Carl at 4:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Well, it appears that the Japanese Mafia successfully tested out their Russian Made Cold War Era Blot-Out-The-Sun Machine. What they'll do with this new found power is beyond me, but you can be sure that it will probably involve ruining Major League Baseball's day games. (They are, after all, out for revenge over the whole Hiroshima thing.)

Alert Reader Erika, who may or may not be related to Alert Reader Mark who shows up on the Blog Map™ from time to time in Costa Rica, sent in some amazing astronomical-type photos today. I just wrote her to say Thanks and to note that I wasn't feeling well yesterday, and there was no way I was going to get up and see the eclipse streamed live at 5 a.m. So I was a little disappointed, but when I got these photos I perked right up.